Wadded Up Paper

why am I like this,
like a ball of wadded up paper, can’t I just focus and be normal and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
they wont stop yelling “HEY”
Everything is so pointless, but I need to at least try- WHY “AREN’T YOU TRYING!!”
i’m sorry sorry sorry i’m trying I swear I just need more time, and maybe more effort, but my bed feels so nice..and maybe I can take a nap..
Maybe I won’t wake up and- “PAY ATTENTION”

“Yeah my bad”
“sorry I forgot”
“I’m just really tired”
So so so tired
tired of the cycle that never breaks, never stops, never waits and I’M SORRY yes I know, I’ll do better next time,
Will there be a next time? Yes I’ll finish my work, yes it will be on time,
OH but I need to shower. The water feels so nice, and what If I just sit down.
Just for a moment..Yes Yes Yes this is nice to lie down and close your eyes- “GET OUT OF THE SHOWER IT’S BEEN AN HOUR”
An hour? no, a minute at most, but it’s so cold!!
I should just go to bed, I’ll do it tomorrow.
I’ll do it tomorrow
I’ll do it tomorrow- “WHERE IS YOUR PAPER!”
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
APOLOGIZE
RETREAT
HIDE
stop.
breathe.