On a whim I decided to see if suicideproject was still around, and to see if I could log in. My posts were from 2015.
Wow, was I in a bad place. I remember the event in particular that prompted me to start cutting again, and to spiral into one of the lowest points of my life. Thank you to the commenters on those posts. Wherever you are now, I hope you found what you are looking for.
I wanted to write some kind of denouement here, because I am certainly glad I didn’t do it back then. I know reading some inspo stuff isn’t going to take away the pain if right now you are at where I was back then, but I guess I’m hopeful that maybe this will convince you to try and get through it.
I am so incredibly happy and fulfilled. I got one awesome, fairytale-like job after the other, was/am a quasi celebrity, came out and was so celebrated and cherished for it. ‘Legit’ celebrities are now some of my friends, if that means something as far as ‘making’ it.
I did all of this while never compromising my principles or staying silent when others should have been loud. I’m so looking forward to the next part of my life as well. This doesn’t mean there haven’t been low points, only a few weeks ago I did have one night of cutting in a very visible place. But much like before, I came through it to amazing news only a short while later.
I can’t tell you whether it will be ‘worth it’ to go through the pain, but I can tell you I thought it would never get any better, and now I’m actually living my dreams as society crumbles. If I can accomplish that, there’s a solid chance you can too.
It’s ultimately your decision, but I love you and don’t want you to give up.