One factor is definitely the Super Bowl, in my social circles it is a big deal and I just don’t care.
The one I want to deal with though, is harder to face. It’s surrounding a symptom I’ve been experiencing for the past few years. Sometimes, when I’m really upset, I shake uncontrollably. It’s not something I like people to know, it’s something I’ve kept as hidden as I can.
Today on social media there is a video making the rounds of a young lady shaking while driving. Every time I see it, I feel so alone and isolated. I can’t talk about my shaking with these people, and many people insist that in the case of the young lady in the video it is performative. I can tell you when it happens to me it isn’t. Prior to today only maybe five people in my life knew about it, and that’s only because they were there when I had an attack.
So I’m making the choice to be alone, rather than hurt myself by remaining around this trigger. I’d rather have others think I’m anti social than know my shame from my condition. I don’t even know why I’m talking about it, I guess to try and forgive myself…. I guess it’s that I think some here might understand, and I long to be understood.
4 comments
Why is it shameful? It shouldn’t be. But it is isolating, that’s for sure. I have a condition that shows up randomly and occasionally people see it (not shaking but i suddenly become very weak and unable to move and need to lie down, due to low blood pressure, etc) and yeah, it’s not my fault but ppl who’ve seen it suddenly treat me like i have the bubonic plague and avoid me like i have something contagious right after it occurs. Anyhow, it sucks. So I hear you about your condition being very isolating. But it shouldn’t be shameful.
Just be careful when it happens that you’re not driving, or pull over so it’ll be safer.
i didn’t even realize today was Superbowl Sunday lol
but i don’t care much about baseball. looked up the 2 teams playing and not familiar with either O_o
i mean football lol
If it was me I would get a medical opinion for the shaking you mention. Physicians don’t care, ‘ how is this guy going to pay his bill, cash or card?’ Is what a physician really thinks. Definitely get that investigated if it is causing you distress.