I hate that i’m always lonely. I hate that I push people away. I hate that I feel like I could snap at any moment. I hate that I have MDD, DMDD, GAD, and ADD. I hate that I hate myself.
ughhh why? why am I here. I don’t understand. Ive got a bottle of rum so I think im just gonna drink to my hearts content until I pass out.
u can pass out on just rum? O_o
yep especially if your a female : )
i’m lonely and i push people away too -_-
Hey. I totally understand the need to pass out, esp if it stops you from doing worse. Please be careful with binge drinking tho… it makes depression a lot worse.
I prob sound like the biggest hypocrite cause I pop every pill i get my hands on, but alcohol is 1 thing I’ll never touch again.
But yeah loneliness is brutal. As much as i try to accept it, it keeps hurting more. Also thats quite a buffet of disorders you got there. I actually think MDD is misguided creativity… do you have a creative skill you can channel that into like writing, drawing or music? That can sometimes fill the loneliness a little.
I’m learning the piano and I like music but that can only help so much. all my ways of coping only last for about a week or so then once im done with the list I cycle through them all again.
Piano awesome me too! But I know what you mean, it only lasts a little while before you gotta find something else. One thing that helps is if you do a long term project, something that gives you a finished product like a song. At least then it feels like it wasn’t just a waste of time like everything else.
that’s why im learning piano because you can only keep getting better. my hands are a little sore though. T-T
true, that just inspired me to practice some more. Are you self taught or taking lessons?
well, not to nitpick too much, but drinking until you pass out could lead to a hangover, and if you think you hate yourself now? Which is why I don’t really drink, can’t stand being hung over. Oh but getting hydrated helps a bit, and salty food.
though I am a big fan of rum.
anyway it isn’t the worst vice you could indulge in. I won’t suggest worse, just that alcohol at least stays in the system a relatively short amount of time.
I’m self taught. Well actually I use an app. You might have seen an ad on youtube for it. I’ts called simply piano. It costs money but it works for me. I signed up for an annual fee of $120.00. its really nice though because it listens to the notes you play and lets you know if you got it wrong. Sorry I’m not trying to advertise anything I am just saying it has helped me a lot. : )
sounds cool, I saw the ads but didn’t know it actually listens to you. That’s better than the usual apps that just show you what to play. Also if it’s a flat rate yearly subscription you can really get your moneys worth by using it 8h/day lol. I might try it if I can motivate myself to exist…
That’s good that you’re playing an instrument. Music can do a lot of good for the mind and allow you to express yourself. I play sax to help me with my mood and to keep myself busy from all the negative stuff in life. Have you heard of beethoven? I think a few of his pieces would be good for learning like Für Elise and moonlight sonata. Check them out when you can.
Für Elise is probably one of my favorite pieces by him. Although i’m not a super big fan of classical music, that one is really good.