I don’t know what to do.
Suicide hotlines and chats do NOT work for me.
Going to a mental health hospital does NOT work for me (gone 3x in the past).
Therapists do not work for me (unless by miracle I actually find a good one), which takes YEARS or DECADES to find so that’s not happening.
Thinking positive, thinking happy thoughts, meditation, yoga, going for a walk- does NOT work for me.
Online depression groups haven’t helped either.
All anyone can do is “listen” and you type out words and people read it. It only does so much. Great if you just need to vent or know other ppl going through depression too, but it can only do so much.
Maybe I am beyond “help.”
I don’t want to be alone in this cold world anymore.
I don’t want to suffer anymore.
I’ve given up on life.
But I am also unable to die quickly and painlessly.
Fuck me. I’m in a terrible place right now and idk what to do.
I’m crying out for help, but who is able to help me? Who even wants to help me??
Hi, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. If your pain is deep inside your chest, a deep feeling of void, maybe a monastery can help? It is an ancient affliction of the human being, I choose to Love, and this is how I live without a void inside, by being productive in helping my neighbour ^^,?
a monastery? do real ones even exist in the west? how can they help? won’t they just tell me to get psych help/therapy?
Eternal Darkness, Don’t stress too much about getting help. Stress about making it through the day. NOW with that being said, You are going to die eventually, Why not use those years to find a “good therapist”. You said if you find a good one it helps, so why not find one? I was in your same shoes at some point. And then the calm before suicide came and I tried it. I am glad I didn’t succeed. Please don’t do anything rash and FIGHT for your life. Maybe tomorrow they will come up with a new solution that works for you. But if you don’t make it to tomorrow how will you know?
Have you tried depression pills, or antipsychotics?
pills are bullshit.
my underlying problems are health issues and loneliness. no pill is going to help with that.
not going to spend the time or money finding a “good” therapist. i’m sure there’s a few good ones that exist so I’m not going to say all therapists are shit, BUT the good ones are few and far in between.
takes too much effort and i’ve already tried a bunch of therapists/counselors in the past and they were f*ing horrible. the typical therapist/counselor does me NO good. all they do is read from a script of what they’re “supposed” to say. i’ve already read all the tactics and know what they’ll say. CBT, DBT, reframe your mind, blah blah. i’ve heard it all, does me no good.
none of that helps. you know why? what i need is MONEY and SECURITY to know that i’ll be fine and i don’t need to constantly worry about where i’m going to live or how i’ll survive. i need money to have ppl help me with physical things. i need money to fix my health problems, but i can’t make money while i’m sick, so it’s a catch-22.
thanks for your reply. not trying to poo on your suggestions. i’ve tried all that in the past and my root problem isn’t something a pill can fix, and the standard therapists are crap.