you’re so jaded about life that nothing interests you or motivates you anymore?
There is no such thing as meritocracy- hard work and intelligence don’t get you anywhere or rewarded in this life. It’s all who you know and how much you bootlick.
It just demotivates you from doing anything because everything is either meaningless or unfair.
Few jobs pay well- at least the jobs you can get without having to go for another degree or go waste more money.
Jobs/Career/Corporations = all bullshit
People = disappointing.
Most humans are selfish, don’t actually care, and won’t have your back when you need it. Sure, it’s easy to make superficial friendships and connections, but that’s not meaningful to me. But someone who is a REAL friend- that’s so hard to come by these days. It’s like finding a good partner- after college, it’s just too damn hard to find REAL friends and REAL relationships with GOOD people.
Anyhow, life is just so damn depressing. When you’re born poor, life is like starting a race where you’re on the racetrack with millions of people- but you start from way behind the white line with your hands and legs tied while still expected to run the race with everyone else. And if you are behind, you are blamed relentlessly for being “not smart enough” or “not hard working enough.” Never mind that everything in life is RIGGED against you since the moment you are born- if you are born poor or to shitty parents.
Anyhow, I digress. Point is, what do you do when you have NO motivation left to try? I know not trying leads to nowhere, so we HAVE to try, and do things to change our life, but I can’t fake motivation when there is none. I worked SO HARD my whole life and it just lead nowhere. I just don’t see the rainbow or pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. All I see are thunderclouds…
I have nothing left… I don’t want to stay stuck bc where I am now is shit, but I have no energy, no oompf to do anything anymore. I’ve been kicked down one too many times…
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a certain amount of apathy can be an asset. I was thinking about that going into my job interview; I cannot help but to stare at the walls sometimes, completely unmotivated. How much worse is it to sit in traffic doing the same thing? That’s the worst part of the job I’m going for, the driving
It helps to find specific things to want, specific goals. A career in itself, I agree, is pretty darn silly at this point. But I broke my goals down into steps;
get the floor fixed
get the AC fixed
get carpentry done
get the house painted
none of those, individually are more than $5000.
at the same time, I found a piece of land I can do whatever I want with for $10k, though I don’t flatter myself it’ll still be available when I’m ready for it. A decent trailer is $3k ish. I can build a simple but effective house for $20k. Then I’m out of debt and can do as I please
So in about two years of work all that is doable. Meanwhile I have little things to enjoy in the meantime, in a single paycheck I can get a new game system. I can get my car and truck fixed. Progress is pretty exciting. As a concept it is anyway.
well what do you do when you just want your misery to end? i’m tired of it all -_-
I expect I’ll still have my bad days, try to make it the least miserable possible is the usual answer.
well you have a wife so you have something and someone to live for. i have no one and am all alone. :'( all i have is a shitty abusive family. god, i fucking hate them. the whole lot of them.
well the difference is that
1- you have a wife and dog
2- you’re younger than me, so less jaded about life and have had less bad work shit happen to you
3- you’ve had less bad shit happen overall in your life
no it’s not a competition about who had it worse. i know i had and have it bad. and i’m glad you haven’t had it as bad. but that also means that most everyone else is *able* to look at positive stuff, bc of the fact that they didn’t continuously experience one bad shit after another.
i’ve literally had to deal with shit since i was 7. and the shit hasn’t ended. i’m tired. i’m not hopeful. my whole body is broken. hell, i’m going through a horrible infection right now and the antibiotics aren’t fucking working and i’m scared af this shit won’t be killed.
sorry if i sound all GRRRR. i’m just angry af at life.
not taking it out on you btw. i’m happy you found a good enough job to apply to and got the interview.
Eternal, I feel that life has treated you more unfairly than most people.
I mean of course to each of us, suffering is terrible, whatever the level it’s at. Some stress is healthy, to make us stronger and more resilient…but too much pain can break a person.
I’ve been at my breaking point numerous times in my life. I guess I’m glad I pulled through if only it was for a few people I care about.
But imo life is overrated. If I can’t have most of the things I want out of life, then I’m suffering and wasting my time for no reason. And as each year goes by, the reasons to keep going keep diminishing.
However I feel I have some good cards still left to play and that’s the only reason I’m still around (as well as family).
Whatever keeps you motivated, I hope it works out for you. I have my limits as to how pain, BS I’ll allow myself to go through, but I’m sure my tolerance level is much less than most people…if not for some of the advantages I still feel I have left, I would’ve tapped out ages ago.
where’s that piece of land you found? near your current home or by the new job (if you got that job)?
nah it’s up in Michigan, Michigan ended up being the key to the whole thing. I don’t remember how much I’ve said so I might repeat myself. What happened was I started to miss feeling necessary and competent, and I found my dream job, essentially the exact job I just applied to, but up in rural Michigan. $41k a year goes a LOT further up there.
Another difference though, probably the more important one, is that it’s with my dream union, the UAW. I thought I had no shot of getting my contract negotiated by them, being as I don’t have the physical health to succeed at factory work. So the work I want to do, in a state I want to do it in, with the strongest union in the country at my back? Yes please.
I’ve also figured out some of the particulars of home construction, so when I get the land I know how I’d proceed. For years this has held me back, not knowing what I’d do when I got land. For awhile I was even favoring buying an existing house, but in this market that’s still a bit of a reach. It could happen if my income was secure enough, but I’d never bet on that.
So I was trying to figure out how to get up there and get my house sold. I was going to do the really nutty thing and just go up there no plan, figure it out as I go. But…. lots of weaknesses in that plan. So the faustian deal was proposed, I go back to work for the straight up evil state I live in, to get money to move to my dream location and job.
The $10k property wouldn’t even be the end goal, even if I had the money. It’s a small lot in a nearby town, but there aren’t any restrictions, I could live out of a trailer on the land if needed. The amount of cash I need for that plan is really low.
Oh, the other thing about that move, is that I really need to make it in the Spring. That area, this time of year it’s 40 below, and I don’t think I could do that in my current status. But if I had a full Summer before to prep, I think I can do it. So that shifts it off to Spring 2025. In the meantime, this’ll probably do
Also, this evening I was hanging out with some friends and found out a coding job might surface in the next month, it seems like whatever universe forces are really behind me going back to work.
Ya I thought about something similar….like get a ‘tiny home’…but I’m used to at least 600 sqft of space and I’d need two tiny homes joined together…but there are other forms of cheap homes one can put on a lot.
The trouble in my area is that many of the lots cost almost as much as a house. There was a time in the past, real estate had a variety of prices so you had so many options to choose from…esp. for those on the low income scale.
But now everything is ‘maxed out’ because of speculators and foreigners buying our assets. Canada has been such a chump of a country…everyone has taken advantage and now it’s no longer a great, affordable place to live.
So if you see a similar trend in your area, then you might want to jump on those opportunities before you get priced out of the market like I was. Though one good thing about the US is that it’s so big and there’s so many chances for building a decent life in an affordable city so you don’t really have the issues we do, unless it’s a major place like New York.
I don’t know the mechanics behind it, but where I live now is like that. A 10 acre lot here costs more than a house in Michigan, heck the same goes for a half acre lot, I may never understand real estate. Incomes are compareable, and yes it is warmer here than Michigan, but that doesn’t make it any cheaper. Heat is MUCH cheaper than cool air. Also, Michigan has decent schools, both K-12 and universities. And public transit.
Today I found TWO more $10k quarter acre lots, making me all the more sure they’re a more common thing up there than almost anywhere else I’ve looked. Seriously, you’d have to go to rural Arizona, and find some land that is really unappealing to get that kind of deal. Or Mississippi *shudder* if there’s one thing I hate more than heat, it’s humidity.
Indeed, as the old idiom in real state goes ‘location, location, location.’
If you have a developing city with a growing economy, then people will flood there causing real estate values to rise and vice versa.
From what I’ve observed, the US has so much to offer regular people for the life they’d want. Like I’ve seen beautiful homes in some cities going for $250k…here in Canada a place like that would easily be $1 million.
Ofc the catch is that you’d have to resettle there…when I was a kid I was willing to get bounced around, but I’m content where I am and aside from vacationing, my city is where I’d like to stay most of my life.
Ya like you said weather can play a factor as well…America is a great place to start a business, but it sucks azz for workers and you have the huge disparities between rich and poor and an atrocious basically non-existent social safety net which leads to the needless suffering of millions of people.
But as individuals, we think in selfish terms and I just wish I had been more aggressive with getting into real estate sooner. I knew we would eventually (or so I thought) until prices started growing by leaps and bounds. Mind you for decades, they were only climbing slightly so I didn’t see a need to rush. Grumble grumble, regret, regret…such is life.
I should add regarding those lots, consider the long-term situation. If they’ll just decrease in value, then it might not be worth it and maybe that’s why they’re cheap.
It also depends on your goals…if your city is fairly stable also your job, and you’re not too worried about real estate price fluctuations, then it’d be a good investment if you plan to live there. Plus you won’t have a giant mtg on your head, where if you lose your job, your bank takes your home.
Tiny homes (from what I know) tend not to increase in value, but you might be able to sell it off to someone else, once your financial situation is stronger.
As for trailers, depending on the quality, they might have even less value, unless it’s a luxury type.
If all you want to go is live cheap, debt free, then it’d be a good option. Ofc there’s no prestige with those places like you get with a house…but at least you’ll have your freedom and not have to deal with the problems that come with renting.
Hello eternal. We had a guest in the house for three days. She talked about how Sjogren’s Syndrome and a host of side issues in can bring with it has affected just about every part of her body. It has disabled her. As she spoke I thought of you.
thanks. life with health issues/chronic health conditions is shite. -_-
“Though one good thing about the US is that it’s so big and there’s so many chances for building a decent life in an affordable city so you don’t really have the issues we do, unless it’s a major place like New York.”
so many chances for building a decent life in an affordable city, don’t have issues like Canada? ha, if only that were true. there is nothing affordable in the USA now. even middle of nowhere places are $$$$. life is very unaffordable in the US. 60-80% of the US population live paycheck to paycheck. 60 or 80% depending on the study/website you’re looking at. America is in TERRIBLE condition for the avg person. It’s great if you’re part of the rich or top 1%. Shitty if you’re part of the 99%.