Don’t have much to talk about. Haven’t made any headway on my thesis. Never really get anything done during the day. Rather just spend it don’t nothing but screwing around. This is totally end well. For some reason I’ve been feeling a bit happier, but it feels weird because I know I shouldn’t. Been cooking a lot more. Got chicken marinating for fried chicken tomorrow. Had baked fish today. It’s kind of nice to try and see if it turns out well.
Realized I’ve stopped thinking about her as much. Still think about it from time to time, but just not as much anymore. I knew it was just going to take time. Curious when I’ll stop thinking about her all together. Regardless, I know I’ll never see her again. In the back of my head I always hope that she look in here. That she does actually care and that I was simply wrong and bitter. It apparently happened once before. Is the universe so random and incalculable that this sort of thing can happen again? In my lifetime? No idea. But I guess it is best to focus on what’s in front of me. But just in case that the 1 in a million happens, I’d like her to know that I’m not angry or sad or hate her or anything. As much as I hate it, I’m always going to care about her, even if she doesn’t want me around. I just hope she is ok
Just a song I asscoiate with my senior field trip and I guess my feelings about her: