How do we get out of our shitty life when we no longer have any hope left? No longer have any fight left in us? No more “oompf” left?
To get out of our life, we must have hope. Without hope, without believing that rainbow exists and that there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, we cannot proceed. Sure, we can only force ourselves to do so much. But that’s like dragging our feet at every single step. This doesn’t work but get us a few feet. REAL change involves having ZEST for life, feeling motivated, feeling hopeful, having something good going for us.
But what if we’re stuck? I’ve fallen 1000ft deep into a dark pit. How TF do we get out of this pit that is so long, so deep? And there’s NO ladder (no helping hand).
How TF do we get out of this shithole life when we no longer have hope? No drive? No oompf?
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I feel like if there’s going to be progress, it’s going to be slow, it’s going to be incremental. So far, two interviews done, 17 pounds lost, and 1/3 less medication taken. and I have to fight every step of the way not to minimize it. because I still don’t have a job, I still need to lose at least another 30 pounds, and that last bit of medication is going to fight hard.
and most days, it’s just picking up the metaphorical shovel, seeing if I can make a dent. And I won’t sugar coat it, half the days I can’t. A good metric lately has been whether I have the peace of mind to weave a bracelet, like even to work on it and make progress. More than half the days, no luck. Earlier today though I had a few good hours, and I felt better for it.
and as bitter and frustrated as I am, there’s still a plan. Get my health together, ideally get my finances to a better place, move to Michigan, start homesteading.
I got some good news this week, my cousin who has struggled at least as hard as I have just had a baby girl. This is after he started his dream job last year, graduated college, got married the whole works. He’s making it work, and somehow that makes it a little easier for me to believe that I can. It’s because I was years ahead of him on the career, relationship, homeownership, college for a long time, but he never seemed to let it get him down.
This isn’t the first time he got ahead of me either. When we were kids, he got Eagle Scout before I did, by a little more than a year, and it inspired me to push on and get it. Comes down to it, I probably wouldn’t be who I am today without him, I really need to tell him that if I haven’t already.
I don’t know how, but I’m rooting for you. Just find an area to work at, anything at all. Something to get your confidence back, to remind yourself of who you were.
There was a famous psychological study with rats…they put them in tanks of water…one tank had a ramp and it was designed to make it seem they could escape drowning if they climbed up the ramp…but it was too steep and slippery to climb (intentionally).
Another tank had no ramp and no way to escape. The rats in the tank with the ramp lived up to 60 hours, while the one without only lasted 2 mins. Basically they knew they couldn’t survive and so they opted to drown, while the rats in the tank with the ramp kept trying because they had hope they could survive.
Many of us live with the false hope life will get better, even if it never will and so we needlessly prolong our suffering.
Each life is different and ‘unique’ to the one living it. We have our ups and downs…hopes/dreams/desires…but also a reality which keeps us from achieving those goals.
Where I live, I have a problem with sleep because of scummy people that directly affect my life…if not for them, I would be sleeping ok and living a fairly decent life and would be more concerned about other issues.
Sleep has a massive influence in our lives…even one night of bad sleep can wreck your day and it does for me very often. Fortunately, I know it’s not forever, I can change my situation, but it will take time, effort and energy.
We all have things in our lives that can either be fixed or things that cannot. For instance, I’m average height (5’7″) and unless I take extreme measures (surgery for example) I’ll always be this height much to my disappointment…but it’s not a major issue for me, I’m used to it.
Every person needs to decide for themselves what their redlines are…I’m on the edge in my situation because where I live we need 2 incomes and if my mom passes away, then I’m in deep trouble.
feel I might be able to live with another family member until say I find an s/o but I don’t want to depend on anyone…so that could be a reason for me to seek out Maid (euthanasia for those who don’t know).
Each day I’m reminded that I’m getting older, losing my appeal to the opposite sex. I’m tortured by the mistakes I’ve made in my past and esp. my regret of not playing my cards better when it comes to finding a partner and a better job.
That in itself is a problem on it’s own…I don’t enjoy being reminded of my own errors and realizing I lived a timid life overall and I should’ve been more bold and aggressive in some areas…taken more risks, esp. with girls.
So I can blabber on forever about that…but it just boils down to whether I believe I can turn my ship around-as hard as I know it will be…and if I can in the sunset of my life, be able to have some happiness that I largely missed out on when I was younger.
The odds are against me, but I’m going to keep trying for now. I’m not married to this life like some people are…I don’t care to go on…I’m in my own hamster wheel, doing much the same things every day, pissed off at work with the job itself and some rotten managers looking to find some way to fire me.
I wish I was doing better things like traveling and also working on some business ideas I have…ofc being with an s/o as well…but until I make some major breakthrough in my life that allows me to make a lot more money than I am, for now I am stuck.
Because I have that small amount of hope for changing it, I keep going but I won’t put up with it for too long. I know that ramp is likely too steep for me…and I won’t allow myself to suffer too much, eventually I’ll let go.
But as I said every life is different…some people have higher potential than me to ‘make it’ some have far less, I know I’m in the middle of that. Ultimately each of us had to decide for ourselves where more suffering is worth it or needless.