my life isn’t interesting

there’s a saying, almost certainly apocrophal. Sidebar, when you become better read you learn that most of the oft repeated things that are talked about are somewhere between total bullshit and partial truths. Knowings stuff isn’t all that fun, is my point.

Supposedly an old Chinese Curse; “May you live in interesting times”, there is an ancient chinese saying “better to be a dog in times of tranquility than a human in times of chaos” and whether that translates is in the eye of the beholder. I mean, it is a pretty common theme in Taoist and Confuscian thought that young men think a lot of motion and activity will make them appear great and wise, and there being some innate futility in that.

I feel like it’s a grass is greener situation. The unavoidable cost…… it can’t be communicated. It might just be my heavy heart, me being so tired and wishing for the simplicity of youth. I would feel better if I had someone to teach again, truth be told, the tree dies if it doesn’t fruit. My teachers tried to tell me….. I was arrogant, surely there would always be students.

and then I had this thing last week, students breaking down their fucking doors, and I’m like great, let me teach……….and silence……………………… none of it makes any sense.

or I might have misread, misheard. The more you think you know, the more wrong you probably are. Again, why simplicity is so appealing, there’s only so wrong you can be if you only assert so much to be true.

Entirely weird tangent, I gain more appreciation for why Dumbledore tried not to tell Harry Potter most of the stuff he knew, or thought he knew, because it wouldn’t have helped, it would have made everything worse, Deathly Hallows is a dark bleak and painful book., because the curtain is gone.