day 1057 of asking myself who’s sentient and who’s not. why are some driven more by their emotions and why are some of us only mildly inconvenienced by them? what’s that trait called, if it’s a trait at all. in other words, i’m asking for someone to tell me the answer.
is anyone doing their holy duty? all i see are vices. i see people everywhere who are trying, but where are the saints? i know they exist. they don’t live around me. i only hear about them. i’m borderline one but i guess that would mean i am one of the triers. a very good trier, but fallen short of the saint. where are they?
i’m really mean to some people. i don’t have the patience for them telling me my flaws. i wanted to hear it from someone who i was interested in, but they probably thought i was too self aware. WELL I’M NOT. I AM, BUT IT’S STILL ON INSTINCT. I can apologize all I want, be self aware all I want, but it doesn’t change the default. I don’t want to say sorry again and just revert back to this again. It’s making me embarrassed.
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There’s only so much of your holy duty that anyone can do, there’s only so much of a saint that any one person can be. We’re all a bit saints, a bit pirate (or degenerate, whatever word suits you)
I’m having trouble making sense of bits, and I can’t tell if it’s a flaw in the writing or in my processing. Why are you embarrassed? What brings you shame?
i harassed someone and i still want to be their friend. i feel like they’re a piece of shit for so many reasons and were a moral idiot for leaving me, but at the same time i can’t hold them accountable for their way of thinking. no free will, remember? i can see how they got there. unaware little bastard.
in the end i’ll be ok.
Saints view the world as automation. Empathy is a trait promoted by society because it helps social order but are others really sentient and not like sleepwalking people in matrix? Empathy to them means imbibing their sleep. Like you said you can view where they’re coming from means it’s predictable. We are split into duality by various incorrect assumptions.
How did you come to these conclusions and how do you function in daily life knowing these? I feel like I have it in me to perpetuate the conflict/duality because i don’t want to die yet. Maybe that’s an incorrect assumption, that spiritual awakening is to die.
Noticed today that you replied to this.
I read about this characteristic of saints. How do I function in daily life knowing this? I’m not a saint, I function as I am. Perhaps you’re asking how can one function in daily life if one views world as automation. One will function as per what little desires one has. If one doesn’t have any desire, one will cease to live by leaving his body as many arihant buddhists do upon enlightenment. But many of them tend to have a general compassion for humanity so they live out of this compassion, distributing their wisdom.
Yes, you identified it correctly. “Will to live” is the fundamental source of many of dualities/conflicts. Below it lies our will to control things. According to Nietzsche will to power is deeper than will to live. It can be a matter of debate.
But will to live is not a thing as such. It is the conclusion our reasoning reaches to to justify our fear. (alternatively, will to power is not a thing as such. It is the conclusion our reasoning reaches to to justify our desire). What is that fear? It is the fear of ego, of self, when its existence is threatened. But it is an unfounded fear. You remain even after your ego or your self dies (and I’m not talking about otherworldly/afterlife scenario).
I sometimes think why love is so popular is because owning a person is equivalent to owning a universe. To be master of someone’s free will, that’s godhood.
i would have to agree. but i wouldn’t see it as having a positive or negative connotation. i think knowing someone very well can be both constructive and destructive, depending on the person.