I’ve been getting closer to a girl from one of my classes. Today, we walked to the buses together since our final periods are across from each other.
She tried to make conversation with me, and I tried to engage with her, but I had to repeat myself so. many. times. because I kept stuttering and stumbling over my words. I gave up eventually and we walked in silence the rest of the way.
I feel so stupid and embarrassed.
I’m probably being overdramatic. But I can’t help but feel this way when I am struggling to do things that normal people can do without a second thought.
I wish I could just live my life without having to try to make friends. I wish it just came to me.
5 comments
This is going to sound really lame, but keep going. Even though it feels embarrassing, keep pushing through. The fact that she bothered to talk to you means something. I’m sure she wants to be friends as much as you do. Just keep going.
I wish we had thumbs up buttons…it’d make it easier….cause I’d give you one for this comment…so here’s a +1 instead. 🙂
There’s a girl I know from my community…she had the face of an angel…very pretty. We chatted one time and she talks real fast and I didn’t realize she stuttered a bit.
I actually found it kind of cute…and I’d help her improve on it, if we had dated…it’s really about self-confidence, talking a bit slower and being a little more conscious of what you’re saying until you train it out of yourself.
As a kid it happened to me to for a while, from insecurity…until I took control over it. It also helps to do something like call center work, since you’re forced to talk to people and then improve your speaking skills.
Regarding this girl…maybe just tell her you’re nervous…some people can be forgiving and give other people a second or more shots.
Fear of being awkward can become self-fulfilling….I had a rough life. Although I was an outgoing kid…once I hit my teens, I lost that confidence I had before.
I never really developed a ‘game’ when it came to picking up girls, though I did as a kid…but lost that ability. The times I did manage to pick up and date girls is when I was feeling good about myself.
But like I said my life was rough and my self-worth was at an all time low…so if you don’t like yourself, how can you get others to? Additionally because I lost my game, there were so many times I felt a connection with a girl (I looked a lot better in my late teens)…but I wasn’t really able to even break the ice/start a convo.
I guarantee I must’ve lost at least 10 good chances with pretty girls who could’ve become my life…assuming all went well….all because of my shyness. I always thought of something to say after the fact….but as the saying goes…life begins at the end of your comfort zone…meaning you have to take risks with strangers to get something “good” out of it like a date, etc.
Hence partly why I’m here…I’d be more forgiving with myself if I clued in by my 30s…and I’d still be younger, better looking and have more chances with women…but in my current state…I’ll be lucky if I manage to get a cute/younger girl now…I’m better off not existing…all I have is memories and regrets of things I could’ve had but didn’t get.
correction: my wife (not life)
Next time you see her, thank her for being so friendly to you last time, and explain to her that you are very shy and that you stutter sometimes, and apologize for stuttering and for being awkward. Sometimes an explanation and “apology” helps the other person understand better and give you a 2nd or 3rd shot at being friendly. If she sees that you have a general problem with conversation vs just thinking you’re not interested in talking to her (cuz u just stopped talking last time), then she might be willing to overlook the awkwardness of the first convo. If a guy said that to me, I’d be understanding, and I’d feel better thinking “oh, it wasn’t me.”