Isn’t the model for the five stages of grief outdated? Like it’s a bit more complex than that and the order isn’t even really set, right? I’ve felt anger and sadness already. Denial and bargaining also might have been experienced. I started to donate again to that little food pantry thing by the school. I did it because “I felt like doing something nice.” In actuality, I knew that I did it because a part of me hopes that if I do something good it would do good by me. Bargaining I think. Am I calm now because I’m in denial? Like I know this is going to be a car crash, but I’m ok with it? But I really think that things are going to be ok? Denial? Or have I already reached acceptance? I don’t know.
Do you know that feeling when you did something that you thought was fine, but then when you thought about it some more you realized you made the same mistake again? Like the exact same one. I do it a lot with school and my career and stuff, but I still have my blind spots. In the sense that it’s not a mistake I usually make, but still a mistake none the less. Don’t think any of the stuff I’m saying makes any sense. I guess all I’m trying to say is that I’m really tired of this cycle we call life. But I imagine everyone here feels the same way.