I’m a single mom and my whole world has collapsed around me. Â I was laid off from work and cannot find another job. Â The bank foreclosed on my home. Â My only vehicle broke down and was towed to an impound lot. Â My mother passed away and I couldn’t afford to go to her funeral – my own mother’s funeral. Â I’ll NEVER forgive myself!
I have no money at all…none!  I can’t even get myself to the food pantry without a car.  On top of everything else,  I caught the flu, my washer machine flooded my home, the microwave started on fire, the garage door broke and can’t be opened, and my teenage son is refusing to attend school.  We’re being evicted from the home we’ve lived in for 11 years with no place to go, no car, no money, nothing.  And, I have three pets that I love dearly who’ve all grown up in this home.
I cry constantly and beg for death to put me out of this misery. Â The only time I’m not thinking about suicide is when I’m dealing with overwhelming feelings of guilt about leaving my son in such a horrible way.
I keep trying to tell myself it’ll be OK, but I don’t really believe it. Â Each day presents a brand new crisis to add to the huge stack of other problems I can’t fix. Â I cannot bear the thought of being homeless. Â How in the world am I supposed to deal with all this? Â Suicide actually seems like my best option and the only possible way to get any relief from this horror of a life!
Has anyone else lived through such awful circumstances? Â How did you survive it?
8 comments
hi, i’m only 12 but im so sorry. My mom was a drug addict and I remeber what it felt like to have no money and be on the streets. but dont kill your self you said that your living for your son? well think of how he would feel or cope with his mom killing himself. he’ll think it was his fault, that he should have known my mom attempted sucide when i was 8 and i remeber like feeling like no one was there me and my mom have our issues, but i love her. and your son loves you. If you kill yourself he will be ALL ALONE by himself. Tell your son to go to school because he needs an education. And for you, everyone has one huge fall/breakdown in their life this is probally yours, and are their any shelters in your neighborhood or city? Try to look for a job i know its hard but it’ll be harder when you keep telling yourself that you cant do it, tell your self that you CAN AND WILL!<3 i love you<33
I am sorry to hear all these that are happening to you.
If you sit back, what is one thing that you think is the most important issue to address? Is it the mortgage of the house? Or the well being of yourself and your son? If you lose your house, can you still pick yourself back up again?
I am only 30, and I am single, so I don’t presume I know the priority in your life, but piling one issue after another can create this giant snowball that appear that crush you in a sec. So maybe you will have to re-priority things you can still fix. For example, if you are going to lose the house no matter what…well, in that case, forget about fixing the flooded washing machine..or the fired microwave… And if no car…well, any public transportation you can use? And if you don’t have a job, any ways you can still get food stamp or unemployment benefits?
If I remember correctly, here in Texas, if you were laid off by your employer “wrongfully”, you can apply for unemployment benefits from the Texas Workforce Commission… Maybe you have something similar near where you live.
Oh and yes, I wrote the stuff without any grammar and spelling check…so.. pardon my mistakes.
i would love to have you as a mom we have all made mistakes right now im 14 and homless my dad died and my mom abandoned me i have no one else i would rather be homeless and with someone then all alone 🙁
i would love to have you as a mom we have all made mistakes right now im 14 and homless my dad died and my mom abandoned me i have no one else i would rather be homeless and with someone then all alone 🙁
It crushes my heart to hear that you’re only 12 and have survived so many horrific things in your short life. Thank you for sharing your story and for reminding me that leaving my son would be wrong. In fact, the love I have for my son is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Poor kid has to hug me at least 20 times a day, and he’s always trying to make me laugh. I bet your mom is just as grateful for you as I am for him. You’re a beautiful soul and I pray that you will be blessed with love and happiness. Thank you for reaching out to me!
I honestly cannot imagine the pain you must struggle with, and I’m inspired by your ability to keep hope alive…despite everything you’ve faced. You’re only 14, and the experiences you described are soul wrenching. I hope you are someplace safe where people truly care for you. I hope you get and give lots of hugs. I hope you laugh a lot, and have a chance to be a carefree 14 year old as often as possible. I’m going to keep you in my prayers, and am grateful to you for your kind words.
Excellent advice…thank you sincerely! At one point, I was taking each thing one at a time and felt like I was making progress. But then, the flood gates opened and I was hit with too much all at once. I lost my footing and slipped into a world of despair. But, you’re right. I need to climb up out of this hole, assess each problem, get my priorities in line, and force myself to keep moving forward. And, if it doesn’t kill me…it’ll make me stronger. So please, keep your fingers crossed for me. And, thanks again, for the clarity!