I have now realised that ever since I was young I loved helping other people even if I didn’t have enough for myself and/or if I had problems on my own.
Helping people enabled me to let out the positive and wisdom like me I can not seem trigger everyday. That is why I have been helping people.
But now I realised that because of giving too much of what may harm me and leave me helpless to the people who may not help me back in return.
I have been butchering parts of myself into someone today who is unstable and wants to help others but cannot seem to do it as well as I did before.
In fact I really need help myself. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop helping the people I love.
So now I have realised I need to fucking get my shit right and then I can start off from there.
There is a saying that goes “You just cannot give as much love to others if you don’t have that much love for yourself”
It may be true. Or not. Because I hate myself but I love this girl more than anything in the world. So meh.
So I am here now to realise that if she is okay. My life would be rather. Perfect.
I am also coming to punch myself in the face for being an idiot for my whole life.
I should have known, I wish I had known earlier.
Sometimes I think to myself that if she is better. I will be too.
But then again I think she will be better if I am myself.
How am I gonna do this.
Im the fucking dude here.
I mean come on. Im Rock.
I wasn’t holding on to a fucking Rock. I just realised this now.
I was somehow the rock and the man people held on to. Way too much people. And I began to fall apart because of all the weight.
I am going to rebuild myself.
And I hope from the deepest hells of my heart that she will do too.
I just want to be happy.
Everyone does. But some escapes are just not the roads to go.
Stopping the bad things and starting off neutral is just the start
This may go well.
And this may end up as another failure.
But I will die trying.
I’ll try my best to fix myself for you.
And if you don’t.
I ain’t gonna stop bugging you until you do.
Do you know how much I love you?
Well hey.
*slap*
You need to wake up c:
1 comment
You need to realize, it’s your life… and it’s all about You.
Number One should Always be your priority.
How can you help anyone else, if you can’t help yourself? (yes, i know, it’s actually possible sometimes… but at what cost?)
As for the girl… all you can do is give her the chance to know how you really feel, and try to show that you mean it… and the rest is up to her, to decide.
Just like you started off this post saying, you need to keep enough of you, for yourself… instead of giving it “all” to anyone.
Try patience, diligence, and stability… all at once. Chicks dig that. Also, not being mean is good too.