What’s the point?

Honestly, I’m not much of a writer so I will apologize ahead of time. I truly just want my feelings to heard. There is only a few people that know what I have been going through and yet they still sit back and do nothing. Sure, they express there concern for me and say, “It’s not worth it” or “I know how you are feeling” or “Give it time, it will pass”. Okay, it may not be worth it looking from your eyes, but to me it is. THAT’S WHY I’M SO UPSET! IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME! I’m sorry, but there is absolutely no way you know how I am feeling. I feel lost, cold, confused, hated, scared, sad, hopeless….There is so many emotions that I am feeling right now and happy is not one of them. Sure, I understand that may think that you know how I feel, because you might have been hurt once in your life like me, but you are happy now. I am not….Everyday I wake up on this miserable planet again wishing that I didn’t wake up and I put on a fake smile hoping that no one will see my secret. I’ve wait so long already and nothing is getting better. How long do i have to wait before it gets even harder for me and something really bad happens?  I sit through class and I go to my job for what? It’s the exact same thing everyday. Yes, I have dreams. And at one point I wanted those dreams more than anything. But right now i feel the farthest away from those dreams. Not even close enough that I can taste it. Or even touch it. Or even smell it. Those dreams are slowly disappearing and I am just wasting my life away. So what’s the point? Why waste my breath. Why use up all the oxygen for someone else who can do loads better than what I could have ever done in my lifetime? I really just don’t see my reason for living anymore. And I’m sure you’re going to say, “Pray to God” or something like that. Normally, I would have agreed, but right now I feel like God isn’t there for me like he had said he would be. I feel so alone in this world and I just don’t know how much longer I can take it….