End it..

I can’t do it. Every day that goes by the feelings get worse and worse. I’m trying so hard and then something happens and I need to start all over. I’m not happy. I want to be but I’m not. There’s so much going on in my life right now and I want it to go well but I constantly doubt myself. I feel trapped and alone and scared. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t even deny it anymore. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to just end it all. And these pills. They don’t help. I think I’ve Ben worse on them actually and my dad. His constant name calling, disappointment and doubt is just piling up. Everything bad that everyone has ever said to me or about me is forever just rolling through my head. I can’t get away from it. I’ve tried these pills, and talking to someone and trying to focus on other things to make it stop but it won’t. Its always there