This morning I found myself clutching my wrist. There was a bag of razors in the bathroom, my dad was watchin tv, it wouldn’t have been hard to just end it all right there. I dont want to kill myself, I want to be killed. I pray for someone to just run me over, to get my kidnapped by terrorists and shot in the head. I want someone to just do me a favor. Am I being selfish for wanting to leave my family? Do people on this earth really need me or am I just flattering myself? I just dont know anymore. I give up…
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just end it
Part of me wants so badly to just end it but I know it would kill my family and I have a huge fear of not knowing what’s after. I’ve always been raised religious. The only thing that leaves is homelessness. My lease ends the 31 and I have no place to go and no family or friends willing to take me in. I can’t say I blame them though. Anyone been homeless and have any advice?
So after suffering for over a decade of loneliness, I’ve decided today is the day I will kill myself. No one knows the pain I am in because nobody cares to know me. People only know fragments of who I am, and when I open up, it only scares them away. I am 32 years old I haven’t had a girlfriend since my early 20s and I am a fairly successful individual. I have a master’s degree and make $100,000 year. I don’t tell you this to brag, but to demonstrate that this disease affects everyone. I have served in the military for over 8 […]
I’m sitting here on my bedroom floor, blood dripping from my fingers, trying to convince myself to just end it all. It could all be over so quick. How can that not be tempting. I’ve often thought I’d wanna go painlessly, up until recently. My life has shattered around me, the people I cared about most have up and left. I decided that I didn’t give a fuck anymore. I decided “fuck love” and “fuck right and wrong. Nothing in my life has ever been right.” I’ve been wasting myself, losing myself. I hate myself for the things I’ve done, but I don’t care enough […]
Went to the shop to get milk and some alcohol, to make some pudding and drown my sorrows. Got me some vine but I see that I can’t f#cking open it.
Besides that I just wanna f#cking die since a month. I really don’T want therapy, I don’t want to feel happiness, I enjoy my pass-time activities but I am not happy, even when I had my first girlfriend I was apathetic and didn’t feel anything.
Every time I am at my parents house, the gun locker laughs at me, I could just end it all, go to the forest and bang.
So, I am being kicked out of my house at a bad point in time and honestly i do not see a very good future for me, and i guess ive given up, im about to be homeless and id rather kill myself than be homeless. Ive spent the past 2 hours looking up painless ways to doe, there arent really any which kinda sucks, i dont have a gun i might just get super high and cut my wrist up to my forearm. i hope i wont feel it too much, i wish i could just end it right now intantly, i would be […]
Things have gotten better. They really have. Ive got a new job now, helping out an old friend, my depression has subsided and im ready to get off the meds now, and i barely hallucinate anymore. It used to be much worse. I wouldnt eat. I wouldnt sleep. Or i would sleep for days on end without water even. My heavy self medication with marajuana and alcohol has turned into lighter recreational use, and i feel like that previously impregnable barrier between myself and others has subsided substantially. I feel like a human being again. I feel successful even. But really, thats the problem. It […]
When I was younger, I was also a lot happier, because I had no worries about what could happen next, I never thought that not paying attention in class leads me to being really dumb and unable to graduate and therefore find a job. Even if I do, for what? So I can just keep paying stupid bills and doing the absolute same thing every day just so I can live?
Every single stupid decision I ever made my life harder every passing day. Every single fucking one of them, I regret them and there’s no way I can go back and change them, it’s just […]
Sometimes it feels like all hope is lost, like there is no reason for me to continue thinking or trying or breathing and the self hatred gets even more overwhelming and I just want to scream and cry and tear myself apart (literally) I have goals I just have no motivation to achieve them anymore because I don’t see the point, I don’t see why I shouldn’t just end it now and end my pain, I have no one, and everyone just discourages and belittles me and I’m tired of pain
I’m fucking tired and ive been tired for a long time
I honestly don’t even know how to explain this
I’m just sad and tired and I feel like life isn’t worth living. There is no true benefit and everything good comes to an end. Were all born alone and we die alone. blah blah more typical suicidal depressed teen shit
but the matter of the fact is that its all bullshit
life is bullshit everything in our ‘realities’ is bullshit
I don’t want to be another polluting selfish destructive asswipe and that’s all that humans are. we completely destroy everything we touch and I […]
I just can’t find any reason to live anymore. I try to be grateful for what I have because I know thousands or even millions of people have it way worse than me, but I can’t realize what I have right in front of me. I’m on the verge of failing all of my classes and I’m slowly giving up on school as well as my life. I always think about how my life will be in the future if I don’t get my shit together now, like get my grades up and whatnot. However, I also think about how I could just end it […]
I’m going to kill myself. The world would be better without me. Who would miss me? I could count the people on one hand? Suicide is not selfish. It is in fact selfish of the people around me to not let me let kill myself. I should have done this years ago. I live alone. It would take days for anyone to notice. No one would check. He wouldn’t give two shits. He’s moved on. You were unimportant to him. You really are unimportant to several people. The only people who might care are mom and dad. Everyone else will move on. That’s what people […]
I told him I was hurting. I told him today had been hell, but he has his own problems. I try so hard to keep him going. Even when he’d rather just end it. I try so hard to keep him happy. Tonight? Tonight I needed him. I needed him so badly. He just let me drown. Now I’m in bed at 9:45 waiting for tomorrow to begin. I thought I was more important than this. I thought I was someone special. Then he just let me drown.
I am still here.
It seems as if it is just one disappointment after another. I have everything I need to “punch in my ticket,” yet instill I hesitate. My friend said something is keeping me here, keeping me from committing the final deed. I don’t know what it is but I want to find it. I am tired of the monotony of life and just want to be okay again. I have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist on and off for about three years now and it doesn’t seem like it is working. I don’t feel intense emotions anymore and all I do is sleep […]
I keep getting these thoughts to just end it.. I don’t feel like I should be here at all. All of these thoughts are fucking me up & I feel like I’m just drowning. I want them to go away, but they never do. I’ve tried to be happy; I watch JackSepticEye as a source of release, you know? And during those time periods, I feel ..happy, to an extent. But after those, when I’m just sitting alone, I get these thoughts: “Is it even worth it?” “No one actually cares, you know” “You’re just a piece of shit.” “Just try taking the pills one […]
Hey, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m defective. Nothing I try and do changes how I feel I should just end it all. Its been this way for as long as I can remember just a constant over whelming feeling that I’m not suppose to survive this thing we call life. I’m not trying to wallow, nothing majorly traumatic has happened in my life its just my serious and honest opinion. Ending it would be so easy but I can’t seem to get that right as I said I’m defective. I thought I was ready tonight then time got away with me and […]
I have to go to work in a couple of hours. I hate going there. I have to deal with constant sexual harassment from my boss. I’m quitting in a few weeks since he treats me like shit as well, he makes me do stuff that he can do, while he sits there watching dramas on his phone. I’m tired of being mistreated for 9 months and having to deal with the harassment without being able to tell anyone.
This morning my mom was awake early and noticed that I hadn’t taken my medicine at the time I’m supposed to so, she made me take it. […]
Recently, I had to move back home to my parents. Three years ago it was just my parents, my little sister and me. My sister and I both had our own room. Then my older sister and her two children moved in, we only live in a three bedroom townhouse. My older sister got her own room because she had to share it with her two kids. My younger sister got her own room because she refused to share a room and my parents wouldn’t make her. So I was forced out of my room and I had to sleep on the living couch/ floor […]
I just need someone to listen, to hear me, to understand me. I’m so tired of people thinking the “smart, pretty” girls have it all. I don’t. I don’t think that just because you are good looking, or smart, or popular, or even a nice person, that it should cancel out feelings of a different caliber. But society thinks it does. Because people think I have it all, I should be happy. I surely don’t have it all, just keeping up with appearances. I fake it and I fake it well.
I don’t have any one specific reason to hate myself, I just do. I […]
I sit alone crying and afraid to be hurt in the next minute. Then, it hits me. No one likes me, no one helps me, NO ONE F***ING CARES NOR WANTS ME. WHY BOT JUST END IT! WHY WONT I DO IT! I WANT IT!
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