Me and my boyfriend *gasp* i know, i know why is this little ***** complaining about how life hates her, when she has a boyfriend that loves her?
1. I Feel numb, but he gives me some feeling back
2. He makes me smile and laugh, but I’m still not happy
3. He holds me when I’m crying, but I’m always crying
but the sad truth is my internet friends is that I don’t love him; I don’t even know if i like him. I mean he is the nicest guy you could meet, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know how I feel about him. I feel like I’m an awful *****, because i mean people out there deserve to be loved back by the ones they love… right? I do believe in soul mates and true love but right now I feel like every time I glue a plastic smile on my face when I’m with him, I am lying to his face, and he doesn’t deserve that. Once when I was in a really dark place he decided to talk to me when no else would; he didn’t care what others said about me, or him for hanging out with me. HE decided to stay with me and I’m scared that if i break-up with him I’m going to end up like my mother: alone, with kids, and dead at the very end by my own hand….. I don’t know what to do
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8 comments
Hello Friend.
I am very sorry. I really don’t think you are an ”awful *****” or any kind of these words as you said you are. You know you can’t help it and if you have the mean to say that then you are already not what it is what you say you are.
A person that feel remorse, sorry and guilt would not be an ”awful *****”, think about it. Only those who keeps treating others badly and shows no remorse than he/she would be a true ”*****”. So in this case you are not what you say you are so I’d hope you’ll stop calling yourself that.
Now to your dilemma. I’m sorry that I don’t have enough experiences to situations like this, but I’d advise you to talk to your boy friend or even just to tell him how you truly feel about this relationship. Even that might hurt him, but hey, the longer you hold the worse will be. Eventually you will hurt yourself and him even more.
So I’d advise you talk to him first.
Good luck to you, my friend. Hope everything turns out well. I wish you the best! 🙂
Thanks AllshallEnd
i agree with allshallend,you arent an awful *****
You’re not an awful *****.
People can be wonderful and kind and nice to you, but that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to have a relationship with them.
If it were me, I’d be honest about my feelings, but I’d also make every effort to keep that person in my life somehow, as a friend or aquaintance. Because great people like that are worth holding onto.
My question to you is, why don’t you like/love your boyfriend? I believe emotions are rational, and love isn’t anything different. There is a reason why, or why not, we feel something. The problem is, people tend not to want to dig too deep. They assume their emotions, or lack thereof, is all there is. Or there is some deeper truth they don’t want to acknowledge.
Do you need your boyfriend? If he was gone from your life completely, would that be fine? If so, let him go, but at least try to find out why. It may not help this relationship, but it could help future relationships, help you pinpoint exactly what you are looking for. If you still need him, then things get a little more difficult. You could try to downgrade to friends, but going from lovers to friends is hard, if not impossible. You could use him until you don’t need him anymore. It’s cruel, but it helps you.
I do think you should talk to him. Have that hard conversation. Tell him you don’t know how you feel about him. Tell him the truth. And do your best to find the whole truth. The longer it drags out, the more it will hurt him. I’ve been on the other side of your dilemma many times as the loving, caring boyfriend.
I’d say using someone is the worst thing you could do on that situation. If you do need him and don’t love him tell him the truth. You might lose him by doing so, but if you give him false hopes or give him half truths it will crush him and you’ll end up without him anyways.
As for being like your mother and all alone… i’d agree if you were like 50, but c’mon, you’re 15, you have your whole life ahead of you. I double your age and still don’t think like that (not completely at least) regardless of having a handful of failed relationships and divorced parents who are all alone.
thanks everyone this has really helped a lot, i’ll talk to him tonight
Yes tell him the truth. I just got out of a relationship like that only I was the one being lied too.