IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

You are not a burden, if anything you are only harming yourself. If people see you with pity i can only assume it’s because everyone thinks that pain and not wanting to live = insanity, because they either haven’t experienced it (so they can’t understand it) or they just avoid thinking about it as a self defense mechanism. Everyone thinks that everything is solvable… but that’s just not true.

It’s fun because in my current situation i completely relate to you in the “i have no one that cares department” in a way… because there’s just 2 people that appear to care (1 cares only out of guilt tho, so i don’t put much trust there, when the guilt is gone so will the person’s care) and i only really care about one of them. That person doesn’t have too long to live (old age) and we don’t talk much, so to me it’s worse than having no one, because i have to keep on holding on everyday even if i still feel completely alone. In that sense i feel like i’m more like a pet than a person.

If i’ve learned anything out of that is that the only person you really have to care about you is yourself. Ending things could be seen like that on a way, but we don’t really know what’s on the other side so please consider that. If you have any hope or chance to fix thing no matter how stupid it might seem, try it first, you lose nothing by trying.

Whatever you end up deciding, i care, even if i might have never replied to your posts, same as with most here, i cannot avoid to care for someone that is undergoing a similar pain (or any significant pain for that matter) than mine.