And I can’t make myself study for any of them, I just don’t have the energy. It takes every bit of strength I have just to climb out of bed in the morning. This is bullshit, I’m thinking this summer will be my last. I’m gonna go visit some family on the other side of the country, come back to CA to pick up my crossbow and hike far enough into the woods that the smell of my rotting corpse won’t bother anyone, then I’ll put a bolt through my skull. May seem excessive, but I’ve survived ODing twice and an attempted hanging, so this is my best bet. At least if the attempt fails, I’ll be seriously damaged enough that I won’t make it the night without help, and I’ll be far enough away from people that I won’t have any.
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You can still do it. I was in the same situation every time at university, suicidal not able to study. You have a week left. You can learn a lot in a couple of days.
I really can’t, I already failed my lab because the school fucked up it wouldn’t let me drop it. I’ve tried to study all weekend but I just shut down. There’s no way in hell that I’m learning anything new.
I have the same problem,
I cannot study even with concentration pills such as Ritalin
Well good luck with that.
I actually skipped my finals. Fortunately, the university is lenient. I’m on probation but not dropped. Although I kind of wish they had just dropped me completely.
I’ve been wondering about you. I hate that you’re in such a bad state mentally. I know it doesn’t mean much, but you’re in my thoughts.
Thanks Sammi, it actually means a lot. I’ve just been going downhill fast and people that know me and my mental health issues don’t even care enough to just ask me how I’m doing. I’m crying right now and I can’t even say if it’s because I’m depressed or because someone said they are capable of having a conscious thought about me. Sorry, I’m just..well, I’m still in that place I can barely form a coherent thought, trying to type it out is even more difficult. Thanks though, it really does mean a lot.
And I’m glad your university is lenient, that could have turned out a lot worse. I kind of want to just skip my finals now too, well, not history, since I know I’ll get at least a B, but I’ll probably fail the rest anyway.