I hate my life, I hate who I am, I hate that I ever existed here. I know full well I will never amount to anything,.my family thinks I’m so smart, and I go along, no I’m not smart…if I was I wouldn’t be in this mess I’m in.

I really don’t deserve this life, I don’t deserve to be alive. I don’t why I’m saying this, I just had a moment of thought. I have alot of time alone and it gives me too much time inside my own head.

There seems to be no way to break this, I see the future as hope…because I think something is bound to happen to cure me. But there isn’t a cure, nothing will ever make me feel happy, I have to live with this for my entire life. And I don’t want to, I’d rather die. I’m not strong, I’m weak as hell. I’m losing my will to fight, to live. If I haven’t already lost it.