It is not so much that I want to die, it is that I have no will to live. I should feel very blessed with everything that I have in my life. I have an excellent job and live in a beautiful home that I built with my own two hands. I achieved a lot of success by the time I was 25. My problem is that I now no longer have a purpose to live. With no purpose, what is the point? I am so alone and depressed all the time. I feel like I am taking up space on this earth that is meant for someone else. I have lived in this large house all alone for seven years now. I have no love, I have looked and looked extremely hard. It always gets serious then ends with the speach of “it is not you, its me”. But let’s be honest, I know it is me. I hate my life and myself. I have tried to end my life two other times. The most recent about 18 months ago. I woke up in the hospital but was discharged shortly after physical recovery. I don’t necessarily want to die, I would like to find a reason to live. I think I am just being realistic in realizing that I have no place here. I have a plan in place, I have taken care of all my final expenses and have my bills paid ahead for over a year. I am not sure why I am posting here, I know exactly what is going to happen. Some people who have no clue are going to tell me why it is not worth it, others will somewhat understand, all the while not really getting anything out of this.
1 comment
Sounds to me like you need to do some soul searching and really figure things out, sounds hypocritical of me. Everybody has a purpose in life you just have not found yours yet. There is a reason why you wake up every morning, find/figure out that positive thing that keeps you going daily.
Personally tho, I can relate to how your feeling at the same time as I’ve often wondered about my purpose on this rock we call earth other than my daughters. By the time I was twenty five I’d already been running my own business since I couldn’t hold down a job due to health issues. Now some years later I’m set up perfectly for my girls to be taken care of for the rest of their lives financially, at the same time they deserve more and that’s what keeps me here. I suffer daily for it tho.
I wish the best for you on your search. there is somebody out there for you as I believe everybody has somebody meant for them.