I’ve been dealing with depression since my teens l’m 30. Last year my husband past away and l have never been so depressed. Now I rarely leave the house and just wish for death. I have attempted suicide 3 times in my life, last year was the last time. I really don’t want to live but don’t want to kill myself but I have days when I don’t think straight and come really close to trying again. I have family I don’t want to hurt but I am so miserable all of the time and maybe it would be better to get it over with, my family will grieve but will come to terms with it. I feel so alone.
4 comments
The one thing you arent is alone. I’m so sorry about your husband. Are you talking to a therapist? Its good to acknowledge that you dont really want to die. You have family who loves you and your husband wouldn’t want you to go like that. Im praying for you.
Well first off you’re not alone there are lots of us here who are listening. I am Rob, nice to meet you.
So sorry to hear of your husband’s passing. Sometimes the strength that the survivors find is kind of carried on by the one who died. It’s a struggle, but what of life is not? It’s almost natural to struggle and to forge ahead. Nobody ever gets any free passes because the reality is we’re all here in this together, with many challenges and many rewards. Such is life, as they say.
Death is often regarded as a respite – consider that we often hear the words “rest in peace,” when we speak of those who departed. But, do we really know whether this “rest” is actually peaceful at all? No, we don’t. Who knows what greater God made the risky gamble to give us this gift called life, and who knows how this God will respond when we willingly relinquish it?
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband, and everything else you’ve been through. I really, really hope you make it through this. Are you getting any support in your life? You shouldn’t be alone through this.
“But, do we really know whether this “rest” is actually peaceful at all? No, we don’t. Who knows what greater God made the risky gamble to give us this gift called life, and who knows how this God will respond when we willingly relinquish it?”
I totally agree although we have some information from near death experiences. Personally, I don’t see death as an answer although I may be wrong. There are desperate people who simply cannot continue to live.