The most horrific thing..

is to watch a loved one slip away inching closer to death. Sunday night I watched as someone I loved struggled to breath due to respiratory issues. I watched their eyes roll back and their body stiffen and their lips pale from lack of oxygen. I jumped up the first second I noticed it and immediately called 911. I then carried them and placed them on the floor  and did CPR trying with all my might to save them from death. I put an oxygen mask on their face and continued CPR until the paramedics arrived. They are alive but in critical condition and I have never in my life been more terrified. How am I suppose to protect them from death?! What’s going to happen next time? What if they don’t come back?? This is by far one of the worst experiences of my life. They have fainted before and had some serious medical issues in which I had to step up and save them but none compare to this time. This time it felt so much worse this time I wasn’t sure they were going to come back. This person has given me everything by taking care of me and loving me unconditionally. I haven’t been the best person to them. But I swear that as long as I’m alive and around no one will dare hurt or disrespect this person I love. And I will look at death in the face and fight to pull them back to life. I will do everything and anything because I owe them everything. I feel ashamed for ever wishing to die when life is truly a gift. I took life for granted I wasted so much precious time wishing and foolishly attempting to die.