Still feeling sick. Sick like slow, tired, dizzy, nauseous… This awful headache. No appetite. Intense amounts of sleep. Going through benzo withdrawal as an unintended side effect of overdosing and the hospital prescribed hydroxyzine to help with anxiety and withdrawal symptoms. The hydroxyzine makes me tired and blank cognitively but I kind of like it because it’s better than being alone with my thoughts.
I haven’t told my family anything. We are the type of family where this sort of thing is swept under the rug and considered a weakness. I had my friend check me out of the hospital which I know was unfair on her. That phone call probably ruined our friendship. To make things worse, I haven’t showed up to work in a week and I’m pretty sure I’ll be fired when I show up. My healthcare is through them so I don’t know what to do. All I want to do is disappear. To go to sleep and not wake up. I wish I could start over. There is nothing left for me here.