Maybe this is part of my rewards

I keep thinking about what I might’ve done in my past to deserve a life like this, and I realized that I screwed up alot, nothing really intentionally. So by my account I should be even with the house, debt paid in full. It seems that not the case, so now I’m beginning to wonder if this is just the hand I’ve been dealt and I just gotta play it out ??? Like I said, I’m no angel but as an adult I’ve grown and always tried to learn from my mistakes, I try to help, and give, to live right. I’ve always stayed faithful, and to an extent I still am. I keep going back to the BIBLE and to the book of JOB. and wonder where my rewards might be ??? I know I can’t be alone in feeling this way. Again being here and reading everybody’s post has opened my eyes to alot of things, One of them and the most important thing, I’m not alone in this, there’s so many people that are dealing with the same things, and as heartbreaking as that is, it’s even more heartwarming to see a family that have never met each other, be there for each other, and I have to say thank you, maybe this is part of my rewards.