.
It’s that time of night again, when I am wide awake and all the rest of you are asleep.
SP is so quiet I can hear the sound of my disturbing thoughts rattling around like a tin can in a dark alley. The alley everyone knows you need to stay away from if you value your safety.
So many of us have been gone lately.
I miss AlanOminous, I miss ToTrees, I miss Mf.
I miss those of us who have gone, possibly gone forever.
And I wonder how much longer I can hang on before I join them, wherever they are.
(*throws post into the empty dark alley, where the clatter grows fainter as everyone remains asleep*)
26 comments
I hear you
I am awake too. It’s true, sp is so quit this time. When i can’t sleep i read older posts. I am new here so i only know a few names. Hopefully they’ll be around so we can talk. Sleeping lately is like hell for me. Waking up every hour or two.
I opened this website today after 3 years. I didn’t know anyone back then, don’t know anyone now
For me, waking up is more like hell than sleeping
Waking up is the worse part of the day. Until i have to get in bed at night. That’s when I’m alone, thinking stuff, making crazy thoughts. Found this website a week ago. It helped a little. For now.
Having my crazy thoughts in my bed, in my room, locked out from the world is far easier, than being in the middle of a crowd and forcing a smile. Everyone is enjoying, their eyes sparkling, they think you are too, but you know the truth, there’s no going back. I can never be one of them, everywhere I go, no one to relate to, to attach myself to. It almost feels like this world is just a game and I am just a player inside this body. Like nothing is happening to me. And if something happens, I’ll just turn off the game or play with a new player. Not affected by the shit that is going around.
I hate i when i am among people and i am scared being alone. Every time I’m alone my mind is telling to do something crazy to myself. Maybe thats why i am having so much trouble sleeping. I wish i could disappear, like you said start with a new player.
I know how you feel. Try something I do. I imagine I’ll be dead soon. Like so soon that any of the things going around don’t matter anymore. But that gives me the chance to notice little things and I find them beautiful. Like a small girl wiping her eyes. An eagle soaring above in the sky. The shade of the sun, the shape of the clouds. There are just so many beautiful things out there, if only we would look
I’ll try that. I think it gives you a different perspective on life. Taking it day by day.
More like moment by moment. Remove yourself from the equation. Remove the troubles, the sadness, the loneliness.
One of my friend accused me, that I over romanticize things, but I think, isn’t that the way it should be. Everything has it’s pleasure, even pain to some extent
In bed, alone, in a dark room, seeing nothing but my own thoughts, hearing nothing but the occasional sound of traffic or the neighbor’s dog… Very difficult.
It’s odd how I can also feel that intense variety of “alone-ness” when I am in a huge group of people.
@devil’s advocate: Wow, it looks like we both had the same thought at the same time.
It really is miserable to feel 100% alone in a crowd of people.
I definitely get that.
Haha, I guess we do feel a lot similar. I stay with people, different kinds of people. Just unable to make and maintain a connection.
It’s just one of my faults I guess 😛
Either way, I do try to notice the scars people have. Not only physical, but mentally as well. I find those people beautiful. Living with their scars, living through pain
I fell in love with this line when I read it.
I love reading such things.
“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.”
beautiful.
Hey cordless I’m so sorry that you’re having another sleepless night, like everyone else here I can’t sleep either, try and push the bad thoughts out of your head, try thinking about those kittens we talked about earlier, and try to remember, even though it may seem like it, you’re not alone. 🙂
It is currently 6:10 in the morning, and I have been awake all night.
If it makes you feel better or less alone I’ve been up all night as well.
If I stay awake all night, you should be playing some instrument, it is beautiful. <3
*hug* i hope you are doing as well as you possibly can be.
These days I’m not even sure what’s possible anymore.
But thank you.
I’m glad all of you are here.
Hi Cordless. Thinking of you.
Cordless, YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I FEEL THE SAME AS YOU! WE HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE!!! 🙂
Cordless, I would like you to write a little piano tune for me, remember i’m a rock n roller, i like songs like still the same Bob seger? IF YOU HAVE TIME AND ARE NOT TO BUSY 🙂
I like listening to rock, but I have never written a rock song ever in my entire life.
I’ve gravitated more toward writing classical, celtic folk, small ensemble, and new age.
Maybe it’s because I never learned proper notation for drums. Can’t really have a good rock song without drums, yet I have no idea how to notate their rolls and cadences.
I can do classical percussion like tympani and bass drum, and I can do mallet percussion like xylophone and glockenspiel and marimba, but not simple snare drum.
Also my notation software doesn’t have a very good electric guitar sound.
The electric bass is decent, though.
Cordless, HHOW ABOUT SHES A RAINBOW? BY THE STONES 🙂 THAT IS A PRETTY LITTLE TUNE.