Well after years of social isolation suicidal depression and stress the chickens are finally coming home to roost. I no longer have the will to live and spend half the day in bed. I am on antipsychotic medication and am due a hospital assessment to determine whether I need hospitalizing. As a loser and social misfit I need a miracle to get out of this trap. Suicide is of course so final and hard to face but I feel is my only option as my life has become sheer agony. My only tears are for those I’ll leave behind. No one can help me, no one can save me. This is it for me. What a staggeringly cruel world this is, an evil lottery that randomly awards luck and crucifies the unlucky.
11 comments
Hey SBP, when do you go for assessment at the hospital? I’m sorry you are struggling like this.
Sometime in the next seven days.
What kind of antipsychotic are you on if you don’t mind me asking?
Promazine. 25mg.
Good luck, I hope there’s something they can do for you.
Oh, I’ve just been back reading your older posts. Hello from Northern Ireland 🙂
Hello from northern England! And thanks.
nuclearbackpack, i was in England! Piccadilly circus, queens cross, the women talk like Margret thatcher, and the men are all goofy! no offence i like goofy! anyways suicide is your last option, not only, things can turn around you can be surprised it happens, hang in there! oh i don’t mean with a rope!!! 🙂
Hey, a fellow northerner. 🙂 This is a cruel world sometimes. No one deserves that kind of pain. I don’t think it would take a miracle for your situation to change but I know it can take a lot of searching to find a way out. It sounds like a good thing that you’re getting some kind of help, even though it hasn’t changed things yet. However impossible it seems, at least it means there’s some hope of change coming your way. I really hope they find a way to help you. Good luck for your assessment. 🙂
Thank you Trix. I feel like my back is against the wall at present. I am regularly breaking down in tears at my parents house and every time I leave I sob cos I don’t know if I will ever see them again.
I’ve been on Citalopram for 6 or 7 weeks and it’s not working, before that Mirtazapine which was not effective and before that Escitalopram which my doctor took me off for no real reason despite the fact it had kept me stable for ten years. When I went back on it, it no longer worked. I have been through such an horrendous time lately that I feel that I will struggle to recover even if some medication sorts me out.
I completely agree