Hi guys ive decided to give myself 2 weeks from tomorrow ….monday 21 may to see if life improves . Im 39 ive had depression for 5/6 yrs although looking back ive hated and not enjoyed 90 % of those yrs . Back story …. i split up from my ex bout 6 yrs ago got really down living by myself took to drugs then sat in the shower with a knife to wrists but couldnt do it because of my 2 little girls . Got over that and moved back with parents (for my saftey) then met someone else someone i love more than anything in the world she is wonderful got engaged in less than a yr …….then in feb we split up…. she split up tbh this spiralled me out of control i drank to excess , leff a suicide note and left her sisters house ….was living there for a while ….police found me took me to local mental crisis center. We have been in contact and thought things were looking up but this morning she let me know she went on date on fri its broken me …. its not all bout this girl theres other triggers too so please dont judge that its only a girl abd theres plenty more its just pyshed me so close to ending this hell i live daily
2 comments
I don’t know, I would not put a date on it.
It will drive you more crazy if you do. I’m 32 years old and I feel everything pressuring me to suicide almost as if it were designed for me to lead me to this, everything important in my life is going so wrong. I have a brother, and divorced parents one who is remarried, they all kind of depend on me but they all kind of the caused of my suicidal situation in a way, although there are other factors as well.
I set a date and I started thinking ok this is the last time I shave, this is the last time I do this and that.
It’s a really hard ptocess. I think one of these days, soon I will just be doing it spontaneously.
I don’t have any children and I kind of glad that I’m not bringing anyone to this crazy painful world, with all the beuitiful things in this world it just doesn’t compare to all the horrible things this world has.
I do regret ever even existing and having to go through everything that I have gone through.
You have kids, I’m almost forced to say don’t kill yourself, because of your kids. But then again someone can tell me not to kill myself because of my family.
I know that cutting your wrist is not a very effective method. I met people who have stitches in their wrist that easily survived.
But I think I know how you feel, since I my self will be trying to hang myself all this week. Starting tonight. I might not be here tomorrow. I have to prepare myself mentally, I been like this for a while now. This is a really hard life to live.
How are you preparing yourself mentally for this?
I wouldn’t do it because of your kids.