That’s my central question right now. I had a wild couple of weeks. Being wooed and then immediately lied to, devalued. Is it my body? Is it something about my awkwardness? That I’m given to being silly, or maybe that I’m not professionally -there- yet. It can’t be that I have any paucity of emotional intelligence, when this ex clearly was lacking.
I just wish I knew what it was. How I could fix it. Or someone to love me despite it, if not because of it. Who’s willing to grow with me. We’re all just doing our best. I’m trying to build a future; shit keeps happening that makes me despair of its arrival.
It would be easy to go to sleep and not have to worry about any of this, I think. To stop the striving toward a lonely, empty nothing. I cling to life like the last leaf.
1 comment
not much to add, just a song recommendation; Is it My Body, Alice Cooper