Hi all,
As Im approaching dreaded birthday tomorrow,I’m SO tempted to just end it all tomorrow night. I would do it tonight,but have to work:( I could just take off tomorrow after some sleep,check into a remote motel,and just let go…. I get so frustrated,esp. when my bitchy boss just sent me a nasty txt telling me not to be “negative” to the new nurse that Im training tonight. This is AFTER I spent all week letting her vent about her problems,taking time to help her with scheduling everybody,doing extra work,picking up overtime(granted I need it) and,oh yeah,just going over there and offering to do 4 night shifts over the next month making HER life easier. I’m sick and tired of being her whipping boy(or girl,actually-I think I’m still a female,even though no one has touched me in over 8 yrs…snark!!)
 Anyway,that being said…as much as I want to end it all today/tomorrow,Im trying like HELL to hang on to my Australia trip. Once I do make it however,Im trying to figure out when the right time to die would be. Should I do it on my last night there? Disappear during transit the day I leave,go somewhere there and “disappear?” Get back to my home airport,check into a motel there and do it? Or get home,and go to my chosen remote motel on my next couple of days off?
Advantages for dying abroad would be that I could “lose” my documentation,making it harder for anyone to figure out who I am,thus making my remains safer from people here finding them.Also would leave the unanswered question in people’s minds as to what happened…And I could die knowing that up to the minute I did die,I was content.
Adavntages for making it home…not sure,I guess just completeing the trip I suppose.
Any thoughts??
8 comments
It would be nice to travel some… When do u plan.that?
In the spring(or fall there)
Any chance you’ll change your death wish by then?
Nope.
You sound like you really need a break..take some stress leave maybe?nurses are so valuable what would we do without you??what has made you suisidal??is it mental health issues or stress from your job (sounds like it to me) take some time for yourself and a trip away should make you feel better you might meet someone you sound lonely maybe thats what you need take care
Hello Sunbird….happy dreaded birthday…lol…which one is that exactly? Myself I just turned 50…first suicide attempt before the age of 4..last one at 40. Will this be your first attempt?…and what age?
Namaste
Amakua
I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you should try to take some time off and do stuff that you like to do and relax, or maybe listening to some calm music would help you. If you ever wanna talk or need to vent, feel free to message me at farmerstrong13@hotmail.com. I’d love to talk to you. You seem very nice.
Anonymous death has the air of complete disappearance. Someone once asked why someone would take their own life. I said, “Because no one else wanted it.” To be truly touched by another is to be cared for, unconditionally. If nothing more than a smile, it takes so little to save so much. But when there is nothing left, for what ever reason, a caring heart withers and dies. Even a flower leaves seeds for further life. The wind can carry us far from here. Settle somewhere to lay roots and flower another day……