I can’t take my life anymore,I feel like I can’t talk to anyone.When I’m with my ‘friends’ no one can see behind my fake smile and laugh they never think twice about me I’m just the one in the back that nobody cares about.When I’m with my sister she blackmails me and screams at me,my mom yells at me too and is always fighting with my dad,and my dad always ignores me and leaves the house every time he argues with my mom.I can’t decide what’s worse school or home nobody cares in either place and I feel like I’m at the end of my rope because nobody seems to understand me anymore.I can’t remember the last time my smile and laugh weren’t fake or when everything was fine.I never had anyone who understood me everyone assumes that my life is okay because I always have a smile on.I feel like it’s easier to keep everything bottle up because I don’t want to burden anyone because that’s all I am a burden,a mistake,and an annoyance.
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I understand you. I felt the same way. You are not a burden, or a mistake and absoultly not an annoyance. My smile is fake. My smile is plastered on my face. I will not assume it will be okay. I will Tell you it will be. I have gone throught your same situation. When I was younger. My dad is gone now. Left with a 19 year old. The fighting will eventually stop. It is not your fault though. People don’t understand because sometimes they have the fake smile and laugh as well. Sometimes. They understand in their hearts. Maybe they beileve you do not care. We all live differantly. You will get through this. I did. Just believe. If you ever need to talk. I am Here. To Be A Friend.
You are not a burden.
And maybe people are too deep in their own issues to actively ask about yours.
At least try to talk to your parents about your issues.
Or a counselor at your school who can maybe call them and intervene on your behalf.
You deserve to be heard and loved.
Hey Kathy17, you only believe what you wrote because that’s all that’s been reflected back to you and you drew that conclusion. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Friends I know who were brought up in decent families are living with strong self esteem and rolling with the punches. You and many others…myself included did not have that luxury. Our parents were fighting instead of loving themselves while loving each others.
So had that been the environment you grew up in, you would be a completely different person. So based on that information, it’s time to realize that you are valuable, worthy, kind, gentle, decent and priceless. It’s true. Sometimes it’s easy to believe the negative but you DO have a choice and you can believe the positive and practice it and focus upon it. It will allow you to feel better and help clear your head. The only person that has to care is you, about YOU! It takes some courage but it is doable. If I can do it, you can. You are not defined by your crappy experience or being ignored by your parents. That’s a reflection on them and their issues. Read up on John Bradshaw on the internet. He is a pioneer with this kind of stuff. You are loved simply for the one that you are….period! God bless!