I just want to be alone, noone around me just alone. Being alone allows us not to give people the oppertunity of destroying us, i rather destroy myself alone in solitude.Nnothing matters anymore. There is not space to think about the future, or even the past there is no space for anything anymore. Just me, myself and i and an empty space around me. I dont have the strenght to fight for happinnes; happiness is a myth. I just want to train myself to be alone all my life, and never to feel anything again. Feelings are bad i no longer need them, they are a human […]
Today I burried love. I dont think the statment needs an explaination, anyone who has truely loved and lost must know how It feels. For those who don’t imagine choking and trying to breathe yet your unable to, one must not confuse it with physical pain but the emotional pain which one is unable to overcome. But the post today isn’t really about explainations, this time i dont need them… burrying love doesnt have a justification, or an explaination.
This post is about questioning how must one go on, I mean what do i do now that the future seems to be becoming my past, tomorrow it will […]
Oh here i am writting again, i think this is the only place i can express how i really feel or maybe evn here i cant. i mean its so hard to explain what goes through my fucked up head, im so angry at myself i just want to pull my hair out till the pain is no longer felt. In my previous posts i wrote about my boyfriend and i guess this one is devoted to him too. So where do i start…. sometimes we say things in anger and stress which we dont mean and sometimes the things we mean we dont say… […]
Depression can be such an awful thing. After weeks you finally pick yourself of the ground and BAM you end up in thesame spot again. Constant struggle to reach ‘ happiness’ , really hate this roller coaster ride, it’s like I just can’t be happy no matter how hard I try, every little thing can triger my depression again. Maybe if i cannot fight it, i should at least come to terms with it, accept it and stop trying to win this exausting battle.
So here I am after a sucidal attempt; as one can see a failed one. Instead of dying, I ended up in hospital on a ward for 24 hours, i saw my mothers tears and I never wish anyone to be in that possition . 5 Days later I question myself wether what i did was right? or wether i wish the outcome would have been a different one. On one hand we try ending our lifes because we simply cannot cope with what goes on around us or because we cannot cope with ourself’s, we try commiting it with many ways not realising what […]
Its funny isnt it when you find it hard to trust and love people, and the moment you do people bring you up just to let you fall straight onto the ground leaving you broken and like you are  so emotionally drained you arent able to take another breath . After problems with love and feelingun accepted, i found a guy fell in love with him made him my world, unfortunetly love isnt a fairytale and this one will only have a tragic ending, like in romeo and juliet i guess we were star crossed lovers, destined to die… well at least I am, the […]
Im not sure why I am really posting this, but praphs this will help me in some sort of way. I am a lost individual who i guess cannot cope with life. I have been this way since 15, since i can remember i always felt like i dont belong in this society, almost as though it ruins me -Â than i realised i ruin myself. So… people who dont know me, which means everyone in this world maybe apart from my father and mother would think i have ‘everything’, i mean after all im’pretty’, have a part – time job, currently doing a law dagree […]