I wish there was someone willing to help.

So here I am after a sucidal attempt; as one can see a failed one. Instead of dying, I ended up in hospital on a ward for 24 hours, i saw my mothers tears and I never wish anyone to be in that possition . 5 Days later I question myself wether what i did was right? or wether i wish the outcome would have been a different one. On one hand we try ending our lifes because we simply cannot cope with what goes on around us or because we cannot cope with ourself’s, we try commiting it with many ways not realising what harm we can cause to others or what concequences our actions can take’; i mean death isnt the only outcome, our actions could of harm our health or indeed health of our loved ones; fortunetly or unfortunetly for me I survived and apart from a couple of bruises and a bad stomach ache my health did not suffer. I remember laying on a ward wishing i never tried ending my life, questioning why did i chose to do so? Those questions are still on my mind, but at times like these ( right now) when my depression and the feeling of emptiness is back i wonder why did i get out of this alive? I mean its thesame low feeling again… its like im running in circles from low to high from high to low, circles which i am tired off and cannot find a way out of. Sometimes I wish i could tell someone how i really feel, someone completely unknown to me, someone who isnt able to hurt me or judge me, someone who is willing to help because right now im not able to help myself and wherever i look i cannot see anyone who is willing to listen, instead i see faces who take pleasure in making me want to die.