So last night, Cordless suggested I write a cook book for zombies. Which reminds me, I’m deathly afraid of zombies. I whole heartily believe they do exist. Mass exposure is inevitable.
Do you believe?
Here’s why I do:
I use to work in the pharmaceutical industry.I’ve been to hidden under ground labs, labs inside of caves, research facilities the size of cities; complete with apartments, schools, movie theaters, fire and police. I’ve been to labs protected with sniper guard towers, razor wire and attack dogs. It’s unbelievable, I know, but I’ve been there. That is with about the lowest security clearance possible. How deep is that rabbit […]
I made a poem? I guess it is… maybe, anyways, I tried using usernames, it sort of makes sense, anyways, here it is.
Don’t call me cordless,
Got a rope around my neck,
Strung up between totrees,
Looking sad like a whiskered-fish,
Rocketman blast off into,
An alternate reality of sorts,
Deadman living in a simulation,
Some kind of mindless gamer,
Seeking a performance death,
GT suicide is bliss.
A mysterious visitor alone,
Like a phantom citizens drowning,
Under hazy day sunflowers
Desperately needing money-
Penny is all I found.
Under the dark willow,
Lonely roses will grow,
They’re all dead inside-
59,
Or 3 of 6
In remembrance […]
Trying to come up with a post, or a comment, it’s so difficult. I got nothing. Here’s a song. Whatever.
So, I’ve made it clear I’m leaving. I’ve been attacked from every angle. It’s relentless. I’m holding my ground. I won’t back down. I’ll burn this fucking world to the ground.
Where’s this strength coming from? I’m not sure. I will use it as long as it last.
I theorize I’ve never been more serious about suicide. I don’t want to die. So human-drive.
Here’s a poem I wrote through my sons eyes:
Watching out the windows,
Looking out of doors,
Scanning the horizon,
Gaze up to the stars.
Searching for that something,
That has gone so far away,
I don’t remember why I’m waiting,
http://14572.greatrv.net/mobile/vehicle/24473042
That’s the home I got my heart set on. It’s affordable. It’s luxurious. It’s all Alan.
Side note, is it odd I feel Alan is the real me and my real name is just my “username” for the real world?
I’m trying to build myself up. Trying to stay focused. I’m trying to reach out for help. I see every step as do or die.
The negative backlash from my spouse is maniacal. From bawling she loves me, to fine just go now, to just kill yourself… yet she acknowledges her inconsistency, she still fails to understand how years of being abused has worn me.
So, mentally she’s […]
Well, I’m facing some hurdles. Hurdles I expected. I anticipated. Yet, they’re still pulling me under.
My dream, is fair and reasonable, yet seemingly unattainable.
I laid everything flat out for my wife. That I’m giving it a couple months. I’ll either be moved out of the house, or moved out of this body.
It’s not taken seriously. She just kicks me anyhow. My date is set. I intend to send a selfie as I begin my departure. Hopefully, that will be an everlong painful image printed in her head. Vindictive, eh, paybacks a mother fucker.
Really, I just feel bad for encouraging anyone here. I mean, […]
He finds himself sitting in the neighborhood bar drinking a beer at about the same time that he began to think about going there for one. In fact, he has finished it. Perhaps he’ll have a second one, he thinks, as he downs it and asks for a third. There is a young woman sitting not far from him who is not exactly good-looking but good-looking enough, and probably good in bed, as indeed she is. Did he finish his beer? Can’t remember. What really matters is: Did he enjoy his orgasm? Or even have one? This he is wondering on his way home through […]
Well, I broke the news. It’s less than welcome. I don’t have a ton of fight in me, but, I see this as literally fighting for my life. Just knowing its going to get harder makes me think why bother.
OK, so, I’m not trying to, or planning to leap from one frying pan to another.
That said, part of my plan is to put a camping trailer in the woods. I already have said woods. Not an extraordinary trailer, just something around a 30 foot. Whatever I can find and negotiate on. It’s a roof, it’s cheap.
So my question, am I sealing my fate to be alone? Ladies, if you met a dude who lived in a camper, would it be an instant put off?
So yesterday, I was pretty stoked. Got some good shit planned for today. Got some cool future shit unrolling. It’s cool
Wake up, 1st indication everything’s going to hell: the sun is shining. Fuck!
Then it happens. The succubus calls…. Double Fuck!
I need to quit my job so I can be home for her.
I don’t even bother trying to explain again why that’s beyond stupid.
She doesn’t say it sarcastically, she’s stone faced dead serious demanding.
Cue the barge of insults, I’m not a man, I’m not a dad, I’m not a husband… OK? So why are you calling?
Then some more demanding, make it […]
With all guitar talk today, I decided I’d post a video. How to be an awesome guitarist TODAY! no experience needed.
Sweetness.
Been raining and gloomy all day, hell yeah…
Made a deal to get a new to me (used) guitar, fucking-A.
Going to a guitar shop tomorrow to fuck off, bullshit music with strangers, hot damn.
See, when life teabags you, just keep sucking till something sweet comes along.
WARNING: THIS IS A VENT / RANT. NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE, JUST AIRING OUT.
Why are people so fucking pushy? Like their ideals are the only fucking way. Here’s my list of shit…
Homosexual. Hybridsexual, Antisexual, overly-sexual… I do not give 1 single iota of a fuck how, who, or where you bump uglies. Here’s an idea, keep it to yourself. Why does everyone make an issue about how it’s not an issue?
Religion. Anti-religion. Quasi-religion. Again, I don’t fucking care what you do or don’t believe in. Jesus gives your life meaning? Awesome. On a mission for Cthulhu, more power to you. If, I find it […]
To my SP family. I’m rather pissed off at the moment. I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing just how many people are self harming/suicidal because other people set stupid fucking expectations. They are the fucked up ones. You’re not a burden. You’re not inadequate. You’re not fucking worthless.
It’s no surprise every week some dude snaps and takes out 10 people before himself.
Someone put out a bulletin, you can only kick someone so many times before you get kicked back.
So, last few days been extremely hard. Like almost enough to end it all hard.
I stop at McDonald’s near work for a drink. She has it ready before I get inside. Seen me coming.
So for dinner, I stop at a McDonald’s out of state but a semi regular stopping point. They have my drink ready before I even order… and it’s free.
Point #1 I go to McDonald’s way too much
Point #3 I really feel like I’m “somebody” today. Now.
The first time I was like huh, that’s nice. The 2nd time I’m feeling all stupid and giddy.
So, to the girl at McDonald’s in Indiana […]
https://youtu.be/STc69VzH2dI