I’m so scared. No I’m horrified, I need help. I burst out in a fit of anger and I was just so mad.. I can’t do this. Everything I do fails. Every time I’m finally happy it all come crumbling down. I don’t want to live like this. I can’t live like this. I scared my roommate. I scared myself. All because of some man next door. I work in a place where I’m abused and degraded every day. I come back to a house that I can’t even call home. I try and I try and I just can’t anymore. I know I’ll be […]
Im always alone, it’s better this way. Atleast that’s what I tell myself. When something bad happens there’s no one I can call. Something bad happened. And I can’t ask anyone for help, because there is no one. I’ve felt like this for years, I just want it to stop. I hate waking up depressed and wanting to die before I’ve even had breakfast. I hate not caring about anything I do or more accurately what I don’t do. And no one knows because no one cares. I’m supposed to be there to guide and help people. I’m not supposed to have problems. When bad […]
I need help, I know this but every one I speak to says it’s my own fault. I know it is really I do. I’ve got two and a half room mates I’ll explain in a second. One of them is great he’s a baker pays rent on time brings home bread for us to share, tells me if he’s going to have guests over for dinner, helps clean and maintain the house. The other is my older adoptive sister and her 2 year old daughter hence the half. She on the other hand left her husband before I went house hunting and joined along. […]
I’m lying in bed, my dog can’t work out why I’m crying. Everything is getting worse. My foster family threw me out because my dog chased their cat, they think that the cat is dead because she hasn’t come back in a day. My foster dad is the one who let him out but I got the blame. They took to Facebook and the RSPCA got involved, they want me to surrender my beloved jax tomorrow. He’s helped me get though so much and now he’s being taken from me. I used to have two dogs but Oliver was baited a year ago. It hurt […]
I’m surprised, so very surprised. Two years, two whole years since I’ve been here. My nights of crying alone knowing I’m not good enough for anyone, gone. I rose i fell, one again I rose and now as usual I am falling. I stopped crying for what seems like forever ago. I went to TAFE, now in uni. I gained a better job, I still have no friends. I haven’t been to uni this semester, I’ve been doing my assignments though. I just can’t do it, I knew this would happen. I gave myself a year and quite honestly things looked better, I didn’t feel […]
i can’t believe it, I don’t think I can make it to the end of the year after all. I tried keeping calm but I snapped and now I’m the bad guy. After every day they yell and scream and butcher each other and I stay in the corner and keep quiet. It’s not my place, it’s not my family but I just snapped they were yelling about doing things that my mother used to do and how they wished they could do them to each other and they threatened each other with those acts of….. I know it was said in the heat of […]
I made a decision as the clock turned midnight on new years if this year doesn’t pick up I don’t see a point in playing
this game anylonger, I might even quit sooner, Im 17 and my life is hell. I thought my life was going to pick up and finally go my way. I got a job interview, I applied for some TAFE courses and I was three weeks ahead on rent. Then christmas came around, I was kicked out and my rent returned (thankfully) I spent christmas packing, they gave me a week to leave (which Im pretty sure is against the law but whatever). I […]
A new development has arisen, not only do I feel like the world has abandoned me but it seems my few friends I have left have too. None have spoken to me since I was kicked out of school, the sister I spoke of previously was recently kicked out because she didn’t want to do the work involved for year 12. The school however gave her more help then they ever offered me, I was shoved to the side and told to leave however they gave her 2 months to catch up, they gave her a tutor and said she only had to do 2 […]
A/N: I’m sugar coating this because some points I refuse to go back too.
I was brought into this world, unwilling, unwanted. I have always been told my birth wasn’t planned. I was born with multiple issues with my lungs and heart, and I go to hospital at least twice a year. Since I was little I have had to look after myself and was punished if I didn’t meet my mothers standards “Perfection” everything must be. I was always left home with my drug afflicted father, mother was always “working” my family sees me as a trophy to show off to people and neglect when […]