My Mom is the main reason why I want to die….
She makes everything so much harder and frustrating. Honestly, when I am around her I feel as though I should just be a piece of shit. That I am not good enough and never will be. Because I am not like her and I do exactly what she wants. I hardly get to go out… I can’t go shopping, can’t be me, or creative. She makes me feel like, I should just die.. and with the way things are..
….I honestly can’t think of a reason to keep holding on right now…
I lost my Daddy almost 7 months ago at the end of April.
I miss my Daddy, though he use to be extremely abuse, I use to scream I hate him and we fought all the time, when I was a baby, he was an amazing Daddy, even when I was going teenbitchmode and he was going crazypsychdadmode he still took care of me and loved me for me. Despite all the scares I have and all the dreadful things I have done he loved me. My daddy always encouraged the creative side of me, despite the depression writings and photos, he still encouraged me no […]
Down and down I tumble
Towards the end of it all
Feeling so hurt and dead
Just a constant reminder
I wish to bleed
Nothing more to carve away
I want it.
God, I crave it more.
To dig away my skin.
To hide away all the reminders
It will be no better
Probably not. But I hate myself
More for leaving proof
Dreadful memories of what I am
A deep insane mental case
Who tried to end herself many times
Now with marks everywhere
Ashamed and forever frightened
To be judged and lectured
To show off my body to my love
For even my […]
At first I would like to start, I have a very off background that I would not like to get into at the moment, I wanna get straight to the point.
I’m scared right now.. and I hate myself for it.
I am trying to think I am pretty, I am, I started to wear short sleaves again and not hide under my bracelets. I have scares, deep scares, and the word “perfect” scared on my arm, all the way up to my elbow. I don’t worry about my other scares because they are in certain other spots but I want to not be scared. I wanna be […]
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