My grandma died today, she had a DNR. I’m not handling it well.
I just needed to say it somewhere, somehow.
I’m not ok, I’m not ok, … I’m not ok.
We are going to look at a house today, I may not respond for a while. I was up all night crying with little sleep. I woke up feeling awful. I still can’t stop crying. I miss her. But for now. Here is one of the last tattoos I did.
It’s quite lengthy, at about 30 minutes long. If you’re looking for something to do or occupy yourself with, give it ago.
TRIGGER WARNING: VIEWER DIGRESSION ADVISED.
https://youtu.be/cS_4demefSI
For fellow, past, and possibly gone members of SP. This is my apology for dissapearing. This is my apology for blowing a gasket the day I left. I seriously thought that day was the end of days. My time to end. Frankly I’m alive. This I cannot say for some past SP occupants. To all I hurt or made a fuss with I am truely sorry. This may not mean much a year past, but it’s worth a shot. I’ve learned the beauty in life and I give my thanks to everyone who touched my heart here on SP. I’ve met some people […]
Where are you?
I’m learning how to play the piano.
(In case sportsnut doesn’t realy. This is a timed post and will post automatically on its own.)
Good bye sportsnut.
I love you,
Hazy day sunflower,
Cordless,
Notinterestedinlife (pretty pandarian princess),
Rocketman,
Totrees,
Mindlessgamer,
Dark willow,
Phantomcitizen,
Kupo,
GT suicide,
Drowning,
AttemptedSuicide,
Claritee,
Passionforalways,
Bah,
Yelm,
Alan Ominous,
Deadinside,
And others.
I’m not meant to be, so good bye. Do what you all do best. What ever it be. Don’t worry, I wont be around. Stay strong, even if that doesn’t mean a thing.
Please pass this on.
From the finger tips of Beau.
(Could you copy and past every thing above these parentheses and post it […]
What happened to suicide?
What happened to everyone?
It’s like I’m in Jr. High.
Where did the heart go?
Diversity?
This place isn’t home.
My family gone.
I’m tired of watching as everyone focuses on juvenile topics.
When there are people like me, and others that need more attention than others.
Yet everyone doesn’t care.
They say they do.
If they really did, then I don’t see it I haven’t for several weeks.
See, people like me are left in the shadows as everyone parties.
When that one heart felt, blunt comments could save one of us from falling off the edge.
You say you miss someone when they trun up missing, but do you really?
If they come back […]
To do list:
Write a book.
Buy a new package of blades.
Consider seeing a therapist.
Buy vitiams
Go insane.
The blade is finally too dull to do damage. No matter how much you press it does little damage. And I don’t want to get stitches, so best not to press full force. I can’t wait to be re-united with a fresh blade.
(“The kit”
Open Pandoras box
I dare you
Tripple dog dare
I’m laughing
Clueles
Even you
Maybe I’ll turn blue
Screaming thank you
Pathetic
That’s what they are
Trying to save you
When they have […]
How would you mourn me? (A candle, a lantern, a flower, ect.?)
What memory would you keep of me?
What would you do to keep me “alive” even after death?
Would you miss me?
Would it hurt?
Would you give up because I gave up?
Where are you bah? I haven’t seen you in weeks.
Since I have my portfolio and sketch books. I will share here as well.
Reading everything you have to say does make me want to stay. It’s my muse. I look forward to read your words. It’s what keeps me going right now. Is that pathetic?
You know who you are.
I’m waiting, and today I can’t seem to be patient. I need you, I need your words. I need to read. It’s been dark today. You are mt crutch tonight and I hate myself for letting myself think that way. I don’t need a crutch, what am I doing? I’ve sunk a little more today. It’s been at a constant rate for days.
My own thoughts.
Stop fucking sinking. God, you’re pathetic.
What does it take to be ‘normal’? What is it like? How do you process things? What is it like to be happy?
I used to go by the quote,
“Love yourself and the rest will fall into place.”
-Melina.
That kept me going off and on for years. That’s why I got it tattooed on me.
Now I can’t even concept how to love myself. The usual;
I’m pretty.
I’m kind.
Caring.
I have a big heart.
What ever. […]
Along with sportsnut, has anyone heard from yelm? I’m so out to date. I know she wasn’t doing well after the last attempt.
Everyone has been posting about you.
Everyone hopes you’re hanging in there, and not hanging. We all miss you.
Holy fuck, where to start.
Today was weird. I just kind of went with it. I didn’t imagine that anything like today would happen ever again. You’re so much different than the last time. Each time I see you, you change a little bi more. You’re, different.
I can feel the positivity burst from you. Holy shit, overwhelming. We barely spoke but It wasn’t needed. We caught up with each other today. I hope that I don’t affect anything for you again. But I can’t promise something that I don’t know if I can keep.
You look a lot better than before, healthier. You present yourself totally different. […]
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