Trying..to be happy for the sake of my friends. I know I burden them and all of you with my constant sadness. I try..and sometimes when I type the faces, they arent real. Theyre cover ups. I’m crying right now…i started crying inadvertantly. Not sobbing or moaning..just crying. Tears stream down my cheeks and plop onto my keyboard..because of the pain i feel inside..so much pain that its starting to bleed through to the outside…it hurts. This isnt just any breakup..this is THE breakup..the breakup that will break me..is breaking me. And the fact that im sitting here crying silently with tears tumbling out of […]
I feel so breathless…
All this runnin’ around
Tender traitor..with my cruel crown
My cards are on the table
I need
Real love…not some fabrication
Real love…not just indication
I’m 5’7… so i’m too tall
My hair is shoulder length… so its too short
I hate wearing makeup… so im ugly
Ive had sex with 3 men…so im a whore
I’m pregnant…so im used
I let him beat me…so im weak
I beat him up because he beat me one time too many…so i’m a man
I cut myself…so i only want attention
I cry…so im dramatic
I’m popular and have no real friends…so im pathetic
I’m smart…so im a geek
I dont want another boyfriend…so nobody wants me
He’s had sex with me…so I belong to him
Everything from the inside and just throw it all away cause I swear for the last time I will trust myself with you.
I won’t waste myself on you..
Sweet Dreams are made of this
Who am i to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s lookin for somethin
Some of them want to uses you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
Feel ignored?
This is for us..the ones who smile outside but die on the inside
This is for the ones with no pride, ones with searching eyes but only looking for places to hide.
Hide the tears that fall INSIDE your cheeks where the “Happy” cant see. Faces as long as fallen Redwood trees.
A cry that longs to be free…but is yet imprisoned by you…and me. Cause we dont want to show “the sharks” that we bleed.
Yeah, i know how you feel….Cause youre not the only one who’s downing those pills…and if your not, you cant tell me your thoughts werent there…
And you’ll see when you try to breathe in, there’s no […]
Maybe not the people on here cause I dont lie on here, but i mean the people, at work, school, facebook, parties. I see alot of people post on here about the person that was born smart and the person thats super popular, the person that played varsity basketball, varsity volleyball, softball and ran track. The girl that teachers love and that always gets invited to parties. The girl that studied with the geeks, played games with the gamers, made the jocks and cheerleaders laugh, stood around with the emo kids, skated with the skaters and sang in a rockband. Im that girl. And the people […]
Emo rain is emo days
endless nights drown in tidal waves
the countless cuts i’ve drawn have stayed
but they never keep the pain away
blame the road most traveled by
the happy give an awkward eye
the dead have understood the pain
But they say im too young to die
few can understand the cost
my life i give for love thats lost
so cold here in afterlife
cold, my heart, consumed by frost
back below where i belong
let my wrists bleed the final song
and when i die before i wake
I hope that he just carries on
let him have peace when i am gone…
In my self-righteous suicide.
I cry..cause when he calls me “Angel” I want to die.
If theres anyone like me that thinks about suicide when they have no one to talk to…especially at 2 a.m.
I was just wondering if theres anyone like me that needs to talk or text or email or whatever.
So im apologizing…again…because he wants to put me down..Im apologizing…again..because he wants to argue…im apologizing…again..because he doesnt believe that i dont want my best friend…im apologizing…again…because i wont stop being friends with my best friend…im apologizing…again..because he had another girl in his bed and he thinks that i’ll get revenge on him by doing the same…Why am i apologizing? I did nothing wrong…right?
Currently on the phone with my boyfriend about to kill myself…we just got into a big arguement. After breaking up numerous times in the past couple months, we decided that since we’re dating now, we’d keep it secret. In order to keep guys from hitting on me, i put on facebook that im in a relationship..he never put that he was in a relationship on his facebook though. So i decided to take it down after a day because i felt like people thought iw as lying about having a boyfriend. He got upset really fast and started being rude. The rudeness eventually led to […]
Teas gone cold, im wondering why I got out of bed at all
With all them rainclouds out my window
I cant see at all
Even if i could, it would all be gray
but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that its not so bad
its not so bad at all
I wake up..find a brush and put on a little makeup..just to hide the scars and fade away the shakeup. Told him I came back because I left the keys on the table, but he knew that I was creating another fable. He thinks I wanted to. He doesnt even trust in my long-wanted suicide. I cry…cause when he calls me “Angel” I want to die.
So bored..boredom isnt good cause thats when you start thinking about how terrible your life is. Especially when you suffer from a somewhat mild case of insomnia. Precious sleep…fall back into my arms and embrace me once again. Till death do we truly unite.
I smiled yesterday…this smile comes once every 2 or 3 months or so. I take a picture everytime because I dont know the next time it’ll happen. It may be a weak smile..but its more than ive had. The reason was because someone made me feel beautiful…to have someone think youre pretty is something to smile about. I dont get it often and it makes me smile every time. Thank you, John. The simplest comments brighten my days.
Constantly trying to save my kryptonite…which is you. You weaken me…but i HAVE to save you. Youre draining me of my will power..to live. But i have to save you…because once upon a time, even though we arent together anymore, you told me i’d always be your supergirl. And now, I drive you to your new girls house and let you spend days..and nights with me when she’s cheating on you. Its killing me to be near you, Kryptonite..But I’ll always be your supergirl.
No one wants to be friends with a person that has hideous scars, or wears long sleeves all the time, or that enjoys rainy, gloomy days like me. My depression kills people. But i wouldnt be so depressed if I had friends. Someone that actually understands my pain..nobody wants to be friends with a girl that prefers the color black or that wants to stay in and watch movies. Nobody wants to be friends with that girl..that sits alone at the lunch table..waiting to breathe..waiting for someone to ask if the seat across from her is taken. No one wants to be friends with the girl […]
I am not fat..im a boxer..i just love to eat. I am not ugly..i just dont like tons of makeup. I dont crave attention..i just want somebody..anybody to care.
I AM depressed. I AM lonely. I AM alone. I AM suicidal..why cant you people just help me with my real problems?