Author

crockpot14

an energetic, fun loving, kind-hearted girl in public, but a sad, depressed girl at home. 17 years old fake friends fill up my group of who I hang out with besides my dogs.

people make me so confused sometimes

by crockpot14 12/14/2016

written by crockpot14

I have had many instances in recently where I seriously just cannot believe some of the stuff I hear coming out of peoples mouths sometimes. I don’t know if they actually know what it is that they are saying or they just don’t care. I’m not judging if this is their actual opinion because heaven knows I’m trying to understand before I judge but can y’all help me out and just tell me what you think would be a proper response to hearing this stuff.

1.) She rejected me and said that she didn’t want to have sex with me, that girl is a *****.

2.) Oh […]

12/14/2016 0 comment

Attention Seeker Over Here

by crockpot14 3/10/2016

written by crockpot14

I thought it was going to be Just another normal day in my life today. But No think again honey. I had the busiest and most stressful day of my year so far, it went from a pop-quiz, to a partner project with someone who never does anything and I was assigned them so I “could help them understand the topic and language because I understand it so well.” getting into a fight with a douche bag boy in the hallway, then went to a workout session, to a soccer game, to basketball practice, where I didn’t arrive home until 9:30 at night, I still […]

3/10/2016 13 comments

You know my family?

by crockpot14 3/8/2016

written by crockpot14

Today in class I tried brushing the topic that I could be suicidal and depressed, and I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was like “I hate her, she pisses me off, she makes me want to kill myself.” And after he said that I looked at him and was like, “first off the fuck bro?” and “Don’t say that, because you don’t mean it, there are people in this school who actually want to leave this earth for good and you saying that doesn’t help anything. Try not to say it anymore, okay?”

I basically had to tell him […]

3/8/2016 6 comments

Never Knowing What To Say

by crockpot14 2/24/2016

written by crockpot14

When you are talking to your friends and they make “harmless” jokes about what you feel and what you do to yourself everyday, what do you say?

I know they do not know what happens when I’m home by myself, but they always make self-harm jokes or suicide jokes. I have recently been trying to open up more to my friends and to actually talk to people but I haven’t gotten to the really deep stuff, and I probably never will. But I have tried getting them to stop using jokes about self-harming or suicide but they just question why I am saying to stop.

Everyday they […]

2/24/2016 2 comments

I Wish

by crockpot14 12/17/2015

written by crockpot14

I wish… I wish I could stop crying myself to sleep. I wish I could stay up during the day and sleep at night. I wish I could say what is bothering me. I wish I was enough. I wish, I wish, I wish… That’s all it will ever be, never a change never a solution because the product of a wish is a miracle and I don’t think I can get one of those.

12/17/2015 1 comment

Have You Ever Had One Of Those Days?

by crockpot14 12/3/2015

written by crockpot14

Have you ever had one of those days where you just keep messing up and nothing anyone says, good or bad, can overcome everything you’re telling yourself?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to curl up into a ball and cry, or maybe fall asleep and never wake up again?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel so useless and that no one actually wants you there?

Have you ever had one of those days where you want to be yourself, but you know that people will question what you are doing?

Have you ever had one of those […]

12/3/2015 8 comments

Thoughts

by crockpot14 11/20/2015

written by crockpot14

When you think of yourself how do you feel? Tell me every bad thing someone has said to you or you said to yourself. I want you to think of those things and then overcome those thoughts with positive things you’ve been told. But for real tell all the mean things you can remember anyone has said to you, and then tell me all the good things that anyone has ever told you. I’ll start(obviously 🙂 )

BAD: Okay so I’ve been told I’m extremely annoying, my hair is to puffy, I’m fat, only skinny girls can wear yoga pants not people with bigger thighs and […]

11/20/2015 10 comments

Lies, lies, and look more lies!!!

by crockpot14 11/16/2015

written by crockpot14

Have you ever thought that maybe if you do something for someone they will think to treat you the same way or do something similar to what you did, to you? I have! I thought that maybe if I treat everyone nicely and never let them get mad at me or not trust me then they would do the same, I thought that if i treated them good they would treat me good. Man was I wrong!

A few weeks, me and a friend in class got put together to work on a project. Over the weeks we worked slowly because we were never told a […]

11/16/2015 8 comments

Challenge

by crockpot14 11/13/2015

written by crockpot14

I have seen a few of these challenges on here, and I want to post one of my own.

I challenge whoever reads this, to be themselves for one whole day. To not take any shit from anyone if that is not how you want to be. I want you to be exactly how you wish to be everyday, now I’m not saying dead, because i know a majority of us think that everyday, but i am saying to stick up for yourself or for someone else if you wish to be that kind of person. Be exactly how YOU want to be for the day, […]

11/13/2015 7 comments

A Mothers Love

by crockpot14 11/11/2015

written by crockpot14

Before I found The SP page, I would write all my thoughts down in my “journal”. I use the term lightly because really it was a death diary. I wrote all my reasons I cut that day or why I was feeling really down that day and since I found this website, I haven’t been writing in it. So I was going through my journal today and I read this one message I wrote a few months back and I would like to post it on here. So here it goes.

“It is summer time and my mom wanted to take a family vacation. So on […]

11/11/2015 21 comments

My “Bestfriend”

by crockpot14 11/8/2015

written by crockpot14

Everyone has that person who they can tell anything to and they know they won’t judge, or make fun of them for it. I have always considered this guy to be my best friend. We have known each other since fifth grade, and when we met we just clicked. We are now both juniors, I still consider him to be my bestfriend but i know he has drifted to other people, and i get we both have other friends, but he sort of just dropped me. But with him, its that he won’t answer me for a few days and won”t talk to me in […]

11/8/2015 5 comments

I Don’t know how to continue on

by crockpot14 11/7/2015

written by crockpot14

I just needed to tell someone about my problems, I really just want someone to listen, just have someone listen for once.

I started to think about suicide and cutting and a whole bunch of other stuff about a year ago. I really started cutting in April, while I was away on vacation. I thought by going on vacation somehow my troubles wouldn’t follow me, i was so wrong. I just couldn’t take it anymore so I made the first couple cuts, they were small and shallow but they distracted me enough to forget my troubles.

I didn’t cut everyday on vacation, but I thought about it […]

11/7/2015 9 comments