All I am is a fucking grade point average, and believe me, that number isn’t too great. I can’t be stupid, I’ve been a success for much of my life, and I’m certified as gifted, but now I can’t even pass my god damn classes. What college would want a lazy, idiotic piece of shit such as I?
Hey there. So, I’m back again on this website, for the third time. Three major bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. But that’s besides the point. Earlier this year, I began my freshman year of high school, and with it, the best years of my life, as I have been told so many times. Unfortunately, that promise is not living up to expectations. I was placed into a college preparation program by my middle school teachers, though I decided not to sign up for it last year because I didn’t want to have too much on my plate. Additionally, at the start of the year, […]
Hello…First and foremost, I sincerely apologise for having another post already. It is probably quite rude to post again so soon, but so far this isn’t a great night and I just need to talk to someone. Again, I apologise and realise that it is rather rude to post twice within one night.
So I got finished talking with Her, and she says that I should date my close friend mentioned in my other post from tonight. She says that my friend could give me the affection and attention I want, and she says she can’t provide either of those, even if she wanted to. I […]
She won’t talk to me at school anymore. She won’t even look at me. When we managed to arrange a meetup on omegle, she disconnected for no apparent reason. When my closest friend, the only other person besides her who knows about my depression & suicide attempts, confronted her about it, she says she just doesn’t know what to do anymore. She has replacements for me, i’m not actually special. She supposedly cares, but then why won’t she talk? It hurts. I’m cutting more and more often now…on my hips, where nobody can see it, even at swim practice.
I’m so tired of being a fuck up. I’ve almost grown used to the depression now. She doesn’t like me because I’m depressed, and you know what? That makes me even sadder. Why do I even care? She loves someone else, I am simply a burden to her. But I keep talking to her. What’s wrong with me?
Ive been trying to stop thinking of her, but everything reminds me of her. I love her too much. On the upside, she doesn’t entirely want to avoid me, she worked out some arrangements so we can communicate even if I don’t have a phone or anything of the sort.
I hate myself for this. Why can’t I just accept the fact that she’ll probably never love me? It’s pointless to continue.
Today, once everyone leaves me alone, I think I’ll cut. Nobody ever took away my knife when they found out about my depression.
I though I would stop cutting, but I really feel very guilty for some reason. I feel like I smother her. If I didn’t dive in too deep with her, if I didn’t fall so deeply into love with her, maybe she would still care for me. It’s my fault.
Hello there. You may remember me as the fairly young boy planning to commit suicide as soon as I reach the weekend. That was exactly one week ago. You may remember that the only person in the outside worldthat know of my suicidal thoughts and cutting is also the sole person I love. This was my undoing. Two days before I would hang myself, she stepped in an contacted the school guidance counselor. Naturally, this is a rather large issue, and long story short, my father, a police officer, picked me up from school and was require to Baker Act me. I was taken to […]
She cries because she knows I have plans to end it, but I can’t bring myself to tell her she is the reason I’m still alive and the reason I’m so close to dying. She doesn’t want me to die…but the mindset is in place and I don’t know what to do.
Hey there. She has a boyfriend, which initially really hurt. I freaked out in class. But now that I think of it, that’s great. I want her to be happy. It’s a good thing that she has a boyfriend, so she can enjoy her life. I want that. And at the same time, that’s my signal that I don’t matter all that much to her. I don’t have a place in anyone’s heart, and that’s okay. I’m going to wait until this weekend, when my family is out shopping or something, and then I’ll grab a few dozen metres of extension cord, run to a […]
So…guess who’s back? Annabeth is. She left for a week or so, and I was the only person who cared enough about her to continue talking to her while she was gone, since everyone at school believed that she was gone for good. I thought so, too. But now she’s back, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. When I found out she would be returning to live nearby, I was overjoyed. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance that she would finally talk to me in real life. That I would mean something to her. Maybe she could actually care […]
Hey. I’m back again, and so soon. I don’t know…I’m just getting worse. She doesn’t even care about me anymore…I want to tell her that I want to kill myself, but I’m not sure she will care. I’m laying in bed right now. I didn’t go to school today because of a neck injury. It’s common sense that I’m not going to tell anyone this in real life, but the injury is because I tried to strangle myself. I figured it wouldn’t work, but I suppose it was just trying to relieve some of my frustration. But the injury kept me home from school today, […]
Hey. I’m back again, and guess what? It’s about the same girl. Let’s call her Annabeth this time. So, for Christmas, me and Annabeth were pretty happy. i was saying cutesy things, and she was responding that same way. We were both pretty happy. I went to a swim camp for a week, and we facetimed every night after practice. She made it a point to get me to tell her I love her and wish her good night on FaceTime. Of course, I was happy to do so. Then, after camp, things went downhill. It all started one day when she was reading my […]
Hello. I just finished having a lovely conversation with the girl who I love. Let’s call her Kara, since I don’t want to use her real name. Kara told me that she doesn’t give a fuck about my problems anymore, and to sum it up she thinks I am too depressed. I completely, wholeheartedly agree with that. But I am just so scared that she is going to leave me, sick of all my whining and self pity and hate. I love her so much, she is so perfect, and I am so flawed. But what I don’t love is waking up every morning thinking […]
Hi. About two years ago, I came on here looking for help. Last year was great, I got into sports, became athletic, and almost got a girl. Of course, I’m not good enough to actually deserve someone’s love, but that’s already been accepted by me. Actually, that’s the problem now. I love a girl so, SO much, but it’s simply not going to happen. Last year, apparently she fell in love with me, but I didn’t notice like the piece of shit that I am. this year, I have fell in love with her and it’s the strongest feeling i’ve ever had…but she doesn’t love […]
Well great. School is finally over and I have to say goodbye to two of my best friends. On the bright side, school is finally over, meaning I won’t have to think about how much I suck at math, science, etc etc etc. This summer will either be when I do something with my life or get even more depressed. Also, my birthday is on the 14th, and I might get to see one of my old friends again. Sadly, I know sometime or another I’m going to fuck everything up all over again, like on my eighth birthday which I might go into detail […]
So yesterday my mom decided to pinch at my zits because I am ugly as hell. I naturally dislike this since it hurts a ton. Well needless to say she got all pissed off, and that got me upset also. So she makes me apologize for being angry and I do so but not actually caring. So she yells at me some more and tells me to fuck off. I go up to my room and start reading some Zelda manga. That helps me forget about whatever bad things happen, so I like video games. So my mom comes upstairs and interrupts my ritual, and […]
Hello. I am 11, which is odd to be having these thoughts at this age. There is no age requirement for suicide. Anyway, I don’t even know why I came on here, somebody from school or my parents will find out and confront me. I’ve been suicidal for a few months now, and it’s because of school. I used to be a genius. I made everyone wow, and now I’m just a dumbass, as my parents would say. I’m in danger of failing the grade, and if I do, it’s all over. Report cards come out on Thursday. That day is judgement day. Problem is, […]