All I am is a fucking grade point average, and believe me, that number isn’t too great. I can’t be stupid, I’ve been a success for much of my life, and I’m certified as gifted, but now I can’t even pass my god damn classes. What college would want a lazy, idiotic piece of shit such as I?
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What’s slowing you down? Friends? Drinking? Drugs? Not eating or drinking lots of water? There is a reason.
I’m a competitive swimmer, so when I get home from school, I eat, and then immediately leave to go to practice, and then I come home at around eight every night. When I get home, I am far too tired to do homework. I understand most, if not all of the material taught at school, but I’ve been too busy feeling sorry for myself for a whole semester, and now I’m failing most of my classes, and badly at that.
There are plenty of colleges who will take you no matter your GPA. And junior/community college is a great way to save money and better prepare yourself for four-year uni, if you choose that route. But if prestige matters to you, then yes, your grades will affect your chances. But if this has only been going on for a semester, then you can always explain the circumstances to colleges through introductory letters or even as a part of your personal statement. Tell them that balancing swimming and academics was a struggle. That is, however, if you start off fresh and pick your grades up this coming semester. Then you can tell them how you overcame that struggle, and it will actually reflect well on you.
Also, is there any way to scale back on how many competitions you partake in (and therefore how many practices you have to attend). I know that high school athletics can be an incredibly draining commitment, and your coaches may expect a lot from you, but your grades are most important. They have to understand that, even if they don’t want to.
I’m speaking as someone who was also “gifted” and tried to kill myself over an F in AP English. It’s not worth it. Your well-being is more important than your grades. You’re much more than a number, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. And many colleges care about seeing the human side of you, not just your GPA, so don’t lose heart.
Also, if swimming is very important to you, then your other option is to take less difficult classes. I presume you’re taking some sort of Honors/AP/IB courses (if you’re in America), and it’s a real struggle to balance those challenges with competitive sport when each teacher and coach is expecting x amount of hours of work from you. Maybe scale back in subjects you’re less well-versed in and save your challenging classes for subjects you have more confidence in?
Feeling sorry for yourself has got to stop now, youve done it, you know why now make the changes.. if you keep dwelling nothing will change. Try to focus harder during class so it eliminates homework in the evenings.. or you may nave to cut down on swimming. It all depends on your future goals my friend. If swimming is not your future career yu may have to slow down in it.. but if it is.. keep on practicing haRd. You can’t put all your energy into everything… it will wear you out.. what’s your future career choice??
Wanna know a true story? I was an amazing student in high school. And then came junior and senior year. I basically screwed up my whole senior year, barely passed, barely graduated with the minimum number of credits need and requirements. I was so scared I was going to have to repeat a year. But I somehow made it out alive. I applied to college, got in. I was terrified I wouldn’t get accepted, but all the colleges I applied to accepted me. You are not your grades. Often times people with amazing gpa’s can’t get into amazing colleges. Why? Because many colleges are looking for people with potential and personality. If you look like you have potential, you will be accepted. If you write them a letter describing what’s happened, they will understand, believe me they will.
Once I got to college I started doing amazing again, and when I wanted to transfer to another school (that’s really hard to get into) I actually made it in. I was afraid my high school gpa would screw up everything. But I did well when college started, and I guess my essay’s were good enough as well as my portfolio (I applied to an architecture school), that I got in. Except my depression came back, I even had to drop a whole semester last year. I finally explained to my professor what was going on with me, and he tried to help me as much as he could. He knew I wasn’t stupid and a bad student, because I wasn’t. Yet it took a LOT of courage for me to even bring it up, and if you have potential, and if you’re gifted like you say, you’ll be fine. You are not a number, you are a person 🙂
I think once you come to terms with the fact that a number does not represent who you are, you’ll get some peace.