Today has been particularly shitty. I was late to school. When I got home I fell down the stairs as I was leaving to get my siblings off the bus. As my mom came home hours later I tried suprising her with a clean house and a 3 course dinner made. She was unamused and genuinely pissy. I forgot about even falling down the stairs earlier because I was in my cooking and cleaning mode. But when she was coming inside she noticed a giant hole in the wall. I wasn’t even thinking about it but she was soooo angry that there was a hole. […]
deathfulblade
I need advice. So my “best friend” has continually made plans with me just to cancel them and hang out with other people. I wouldn’t care if they wanted to hang out, I get it, but why lie to me? I’ve confronted him about it and he always says how sorry he is, but continues to do it. This last weekend we planned to hang out on Thursday. I had a dentist appointment and told him that but he still wanted to hang out. Wednesday he texted me and told me we couldn’t hang, so I said that’s alright, but asked him if he wanted […]
I have saved an many people from suicide, but whenever I am at my worst no one is there for me.
I am the type of person that would save someone from a burning building even if they made me cry myself to sleep every night. Yet All people do is talk shit about me behind my back and tell me how much of an asshole I am.
No one realizes that I cry myself to sleep every night. Yet whenever I try to tell people about my problems, they talk shit about me saying how I complain about little things.
Life is a meaningless […]
I am unable to continue living how I am. I cry myself to sleep every night. I hate myself. Yes, I am only a teenager, and yes, I have “so much more to live for”. All I do is lie to myself, my friends, and my family. I pretend to be something I am not. Although my reasoning for this is valid, it is killing me. I already hate myself and my family knows that, yet they continuously have to tell me how much of a jerk I am. No matter what I’m doing. I am so close to just leaving and never coming back. […]
Music is my livleyhood. No one understands the music I listen to. I listen to alternative music, like tøp and Bastille. Whenever I play my songs around my loved ones all they hear are the words about suicide and death, when in reality the lyrics are telling you that you matter. Music is starting to mean less and less to me as the days go on. I feel like less and less of a person as everyone I get close to leaves me. Everytime someone leaves they take a piece of me. I am not the person people used to see. I feel as if […]
My town is flooded. We have no power. i have not had power for roughly 30 hours. I cannot charge my phone, I cannot open my fridge, we have no air conditioning, I cannot use a fan. 3 days ago a girl confessed their love for me. I tried to get to know her better and tried talking to her but after about 30 mins she told me she had to go to bed. She didn’t talk to me for 3 days. I tried talking to her everyday but she would read my messages and never respond. I finally asked if she was okay because […]
All I am to my family is an asshole. I do so much for them and try to make them all happy. I’ve tried everything I can but I am beyond done. They have pushed me passed my breaking point. Tonight’s note would make them all blame themselves but honestly it’s their fault. I keep thinking about a post I saw on here that mentioned how suicide isn’t an act of selfishness but rather the people that believe that are the selfish ones that don’t want to accept it’s their fault. I can’t stop my brain from taking me to this dark place but how […]
I feel as if I can’t be myself in front of people and when I finally show all my colors they leave. I don’t do anything different, but it’s like they just can’t deal with the real me/all of me. Any helpful words? I just don’t know what to do about it anymore. I can’t be open to everyone because of my family/community. Idk anymore.
so I don’t really know what I’m doing but I need some input. I don’t want any bs quotes about how life’s worth living because we all know when your actually depressed and having these thoughts those don’t help but make you realize that other people actually have these reasons to live and you have nothing. I don’t know what to do anymore. I say my thoughts and my feelings out loud in front of people I trust and they just either tell me to stop or laugh at me thinking it’s a joke. ITS NOT A JOKE. I really feel this way and don’t want […]