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I don’t feel loved anymore. Sometimes I don’t even feel liked. I’m detached from my family and friends, and my relationship feels forced. I don’t have energy to put in much effort for things, but I try – but I feel like my depression is a reason everyone is farther away from me.

I don’t blame anyone – it’s hard for me to express myself and I can be kinda offputting. I’m apathetic to pretty much everything, but get random bursts of anger, which usually lead me to hurting myself. I’m destructive and self-destructive.

I don’t know what to do.

I just want to die already.

I’m starting to think that this year will finally be the year I kill myself.

I know that I’ve been thinking that for ages now, but I feel so… calm and open to dying now. There’s of course some things I want to wait for (kinda hyped for all the marvel movies this year tbh) but if I were to die right now I think that’d be okay.

today was the first day in awhile where i hadn’t felt like complete garbage. i saw some friends i hadn’t seen since high school; we hung out and had a good time. it was nice.

then, of course, the bad thoughts return and i feel like dying again. they never really go away i guess, but just get pushed back. i wish i could keep them pushed back all the time, but i’m also scared of who i’d be without them. it’s dumb, but recovery freaks me out because i don’t know who i’d be not anxious and depressed. i have an inkling, ’cause the pills […]

I don’t have any other way to describe myself or how I constantly feel. Everything makes me anxious – hell, just joining this site is giving me the shakes and making me feel sick. I’m so tired of my existence and wish I would just die already so I can stop being afraid of everything and feeling like I’m dragging everyone behind.

I’m just terrified of death and everything that comes with it, so even if I don’t kill myself I’m screwed.

My friend jokingly called me a deadbeat today, and that’s exactly what I am. I can’t hold a job and the thought of school makes […]