DutchTimes.

I don’t understand why you all are trying to “help”… If you say you understand what it must be like to go though this kind of sadness, you would support me in my decision.

Today I went to the gas station and filled four Gerry cans, each ten litres. Tomorrow I’m going to remove the airbags and see how fast I can accelerate and drive on that abandoned road I found.

This is what it is going to look like.

The impact – my salvation from life. youtube.com/watch?v=ByAU36jSzHo

Burning wreck – my personal cremation. youtube.com/watch?v=lHAjVLHrVAo

This is going to be fun.

Today I went to my girl’s grave. There was also this old man, I had seen him when I walked onto the cemetery and somehow he apparently felt the need to walk over where I was standing. I saw him looking at the dates and heard him say that he was sorry. Sorry for what? You know what happened to her? Were you one of the truck drivers? I guess he only mend it supportive.

I whipped away all the leaves and added some new flowers so it ones again is something beautiful to look at. After this I stood up and looking down at the […]

I’m that guy that lost his girl in a car accident. I’m that guy that promised to write a book.

I had already given up on life and writing that book was my last little hope that clung me onto life. And you know what… I have failed. My 200 days are nearly over and haven’t been able to finish that damn stupid thing.

It was my last goal. That’s what life is all about! Having a goal. I’m a real thinker. I keep overthinking, rethinking and placing myself in differed perspectives. And having a goal is what keeps us here, no matter how crazy it is. Want […]

Because so many have been longing for an answer. The answer is actually very simple, to preserve our species and nothing more. Period.

We ourselves have, over all those years, raised the bar to high. We have to many expectations..! Happiness as well as sadness are just distractions from the true face of life. And when you can’t reproduce you’re evolutionary subordinate and inferior.

Yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night from a unusual dream. Strangely, as I laid frozen in the bed I could feel eyes watching me. I looked around the room unable to see anything but the thick eerie darkness that surrounded me. When I gathered enough courage to get out the bed, I walked over to the window and looked out and from a distance, standing in the dark, I saw a old woman looking at me, holding a hand carved doll in her hand, the scary thing is, it looked like me.

I do not believe in God or the devil. But I do believe that there are spirits amongst us.