eternaldarkness

I want to get the fuck out of here
I want to get away from everyone
I want to be able to go somewhere GOOD and not have to deal with shitty family who either hates me or doesn’t give af about me.

But that 5M Dollars isn’t just gonna appear (I need about 5M to live for the rest of my life)
It’s fucking stressful not having your own place.
It’s fucking stressful to have constantly argue and fight with family about every goddamn thing.

I just want my own place and to be left alone- A NICE place in a NICE area. Not […]

I am a misfit.

I’ve never fit in anywhere, ever since i was a kid. I always knew i was “different.” But it’s not like I’m gay or trans that makes me different. That is understandable not fitting in. I don’t fit in bc no one else believes in the things I believe in. How can you “fit in” with people who do not believe the things you do?

Hell, I don’t even fit in among the “depressed” group bc I’m too depressing for them apparently and don’t believe in the fluff phony feel-good words they keep pushing, despite them knowing it […]

I’m tired of suffering
I’m tired of being in pain 24/7
I’m tired of all my health problems
I’m tired of being depressed all the time
I’m tired of not being productive and not accomplishing anything

I’m tired of penny pinching
I’m tired of constantly worrying about money
I’m tired of all the things I want to do but can’t without the money to do it
And that includes fixing my health, which I can’t do without a lot of $$$.

I’m tired of being angry and bitter at life
I’m tired of the universe constantly throwing shit at me

I’ve had to suffer since I was 5.

How does one live a happy life when one is in constant pain? Yes from the car accident but also from the greedy dentist that fucked up my teeth/gums/mouth bc he wanted to make a few extra thousand dollars, and well as the many shit ass incompetent drs that have ruined my health. I would have been so much healthier had I not gone to drs. All they did was fuck me up more, one dr after another after another- ALL in different fields/specialties. The foot specialist fucked up my foot so now I can’t walk as well. The […]

The reason why so many of us are depressed, and are languishing, is bc we do not have a good reason to continue on, to get up and fight another day. What for? What is at the end of the rainbow?

Most of us no longer have that Motivation- that ooompf.

Life would be worth living, if there was meaning, or some kind of purpose.
Life would be worth living, if your hard work and intelligence paid off and meant something.
Life would be worth living, if there was something at the end of the rainbow.
Life would be worth living, if you were actually […]

If your parents don’t own land, then you are born into debt. Yes, the moment you are born, you are in debt. Your parents must pay rent every month. If they are lucky, they “own” a house and pay mortgage. They do not own the house until every last payment has been made. And most do not own the land. Especially if you live in the city. You may “own” a house, but not the land beneath it. And without land, you own nothing.

When you go to college, you take out more debt, bc in today’s world […]

I want out of this rat race
I want out of my miserable life

We aren’t allowed to live any kind of real life, given lack of money / shit jobs.
Yet we aren’t allowed to die either.

And YES, there IS a reason why they make suicide illegal. It isn’t bc they give a rat’s ass about our lives or whatever they claim. It is bc those in power do NOT want the peasants to have a way out. If there was a way out, people would not pay their debts. Credit card bills, mortgages, student loans, car payments, medical bills- you […]

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

This is a comment from this reddit thread:

People don’t realize that THIS is the problem with modern life in America. Is it a wonder why so many people are unhappy, on drugs, alcohol, opioids, antidepressants? Is it a wonder why everyone is so unfulfilled? With crap jobs and crap bosses? Sure not everyone has a crap job, but a LOT of people do.

We now live to work, not the […]

YES, things are BROKEN in America. If we point out that modern life is broken, or that we are trapped in a system that doesn’t work for us, we are told that there is something wrong with US. If we are sad or depressed or have mental issues, then anything and everything and all problems lie within US. WE are blamed INDIVIDUALLY for not being “well-adjusted” to modern society, and it’s OUR fault. Never mind that the system we are in produces broken lives and broken individuals. But no, we are told, there is something wrong with US. […]

Following up on someone else’s post:

Therein lies the problem- our society is fundamentally “broken.” It doesn’t work for the masses, it doesn’t work for the working poor. But Americans are brainwashed to think everything is fine and great in America- and if you DARE complain about anything it’s always met with “then move and leave the country!” or “look at Africa, we have it SO much better, how dare you complain!”

Nobody fucking thinks we should FIX a problem instead of just “leaving the country”?? How do you think we have Child Labor Laws? By saying, “if you don’t like it, move!”? […]

O’ fellow SP’ers… We’re unable to live proper normal happy lives, and also unable to die. Just what do we do with ourselves?

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If a puppy gets kicked and abused repeatedly by a human, it learns to distrust and hate humans. It reacts by being aggressive or shrink away from humans. It isolates and becomes a loner. It learns to bite and bark, and becomes an aggressive dog.

Much is the same way for humans. If humans from an early age are abused and neglected, it learns to distrust humans, it becomes a loner, self-isolates. It has a hard time trusting other humans, has trouble forming bonds, becomes angry and bitter, at the world, at life. And obviously depressed.

And what if […]

Wouldn’t it be nice if our coping methods are exercising, cleaning, or just being productive? I knew someone who used to clean so that isn’t really a “good” thing bc it gets out of hand and it’s obsessive. But exercising seems good. And being productive seem good.

When I was younger and healthy, my coping mechanism was to exercise. It wasn’t to the point of obsessive or extreme- but I did exercise a lot, and it did let off a lot of steam. Like kickboxing kind of exercise. Lifted weights. Running for hours. I would exercise 3-4x a week, about […]

It can’t be just me. Sure I have my issues, but WTF is wrong with people these days? People lash out at you like 2 year old’s over something so insignificant and they go apeshit over nothing. Tonight it’s some game guild member throwing a temper tantrum over a lost award chest. It’s a daily task among dozens of other tasks, so it’s literally no biggie.

Another time it was this lady at McDonalds who had an issue with me blowing my nose bc it was winter and I had a runny nose. I was sitting alone in a […]

So I was playing this game which involves 3 people joining an “adventure” to kill the boss. I’ve done adventure level 9 SO many times and killed all the towers, but for some reason I was unable to tonight, even though I’ve done it FORTY times in the past. I did level up some skins/skills and maybe that threw the balance off the team, who knows.

Anyhow, this ASSWIPE 1- decides to leave the adventure even though he had THREE whole moves left, and the other guy had one move left so the both of them could still have killed the boss even though […]

This guy only talks about males and lack of deep friendships but this applies to BOTH males and females. IDK why everyone ignores the problems that females have too, especially the tomboys like me who don’t fit in with the girls.

I’ve never been part of a tribe, never been accepted by a pack, nor surrounded by ppl who cared about me, so i have no idea what that even feels like. We die from loneliness. We get physically sick from loneliness. Knowing and feeling that NO ONE cares about us is one of the shittiest feelings in the world.

It’s a sad […]

These 2 stories actually have a “good” ending, but how insane is this? These types of things are the norm, not just “a few bad apples.”

‘Dude, I Blew Zero!’: College Athlete Sues Iowa Cops for DUI Arrest

And this:
Cops Arrest Blind Man For Having A Cane

NOBODY is willing to help (and I don’t mean my specific case with my family). I mean in general. People aren’t willing to help others, which is why people always say stuff like “go for a walk,” “go journal,” “think positive,” “go see a therapist,” “go take meds/drugs.” It’s to defer them from actually having to do anything. It ends the conversation any time you try to tell them about anything.

Saying that is the equivalent to “thoughts and prayers.” It’s fine to SAY it but ACTUAL HELP is better. People need actual help. That’s why people are in […]