Been a while since I’ve been on here. Thought I may get better but I’m a fool… You don’t just get better from Borderline Personality Disorder, Autism and extreme anxiety disorders. You just grow complacent until you snap again. I’m not going back to the hospital like I did 2 years ago. I’m sick of it I’m done being miserable. I’m legally able to buy a gun (scary the US laws are that poor) and by God I’m doing it. I can’t do this anymore I’ve been looking for help and all the therapists I’ve had are useless (7 in 5 years). I’ve been trying […]
Oh jeez where to start. I actually haven’t logged onto this site for at least a year maybe longer? It’s hard to remember. I was doing a whole lot better and things were looking up. I had setbacks, times where I struggled but nothing unbearable. Well recently my best friend of 6 years (by far the longest friendship I have ever had) left me. This is the person I have gone to with everything and who I probably care about most in the world. We have been drifting for apart for about a month because I attempted suicide over a PTSD trigger and she got […]
It’s been so long. Been living with this pain for 3 years. I’ve tried and tried to get better. Yes I’m only 19 but I’m done. I’ve even gone and told a few friends what is going on and nothing I do and nothing they say helps. Lately I’ve hit an all time low I’ve stopped sleeping, started blasting music all night to drown out my thoughts, and then I go and hang out with friends and put on that fake smile and act happy. I’m drowning in my own pain but every time I try to get the guts to kill myself I can’t… […]
I’m depressed. Wouldn’t be here writing this if I wasn’t. I come looking for answers knowing that there really are none. I don’t even know where to start. Things have gotten so messed up. Situations change but in reality we are stuck. We can try to change who we are inside, we can try and mask our pain but in the end it is still there. Honestly I’m just typing this as I go with no plan in mind. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Being different sucks. People don’t seem to understand me and because I’m different people want to protect me. […]
I have been dealing with suicidal depression for over a year now. I’m 18 I no longer live at home due to some family issues and am currently living with my sister who I split rent with. I have a full time job as a cashier, I go to college, and overall am a very busy person. I am actually adopted from a family of drug addicts. My birth dad left my mother when I was born and she did some drugs while pregnant. This caused me to have a form of high functioning Autism called Aspergers (AD) syndrome, ADHD, and OCD. Some of the […]