seriously hate this fucking world… fuck every single one of you.
trying to say that people should look within for validation and start helping themselves with basic amounts of foresight deserves to be censored. Hah. What an absolute joke.
I remember when I really used to care about how other people felt when I was with them… either as a relationship or just a friendship. I really used to give so much of a fuck about every little detail, and show far too much empathy towards them. I guess I’m becoming calloused, because nowadays. I do not give a single fuck about who enters my life, or leaves it. I’m free. My own entity. I’ve transcended beyond love and companionship. I know it may sound selfish but if It’s not convenient for me to do it, I will not do it. Ever. I do […]
I was a heroin addict. According to “Trainspotting” it’s better than sex. It must be a pretty fucking good feeling if people are willing to risk and wreck their lives over it.
part of suicide is not having to wake up with a hangover ;).
do I fucking psychoanalyze things to the point where I drive myself in-fucking-sane? It’s always there. That retarded voice in my head saying “Oh you should’ve done this” or “You shouldn’t do that”. I feel like my head is going to explode with all the useless gibberish AND CRAP in it. Most of my thoughts are very nonconstructive and have no positive benefit to my well being at all, yet I still obsess and contemplate all day long. I really can’t take much more of this. It’s going to be a fucking beautiful day when I can just stop thinking… forever. Oh how I long […]
went fairly well. Got some stuff done, picked up my medications. Finally feeling like some progress is being made… but this fucking loneliness just eats away like cancer. It’s unbearable how empty I am inside and how much I wish this was all just a bad dream and it would just finally be over. Maybe there really is nothing great that’s going to happen in my future and maybe one day I will grow the balls to finally off myself but in the meantime I survive in this void, and this abyss is my home for now… peace.
has to go exactly as planned or the consequences will be severe. He has to say exactly what I want to hear and I have to convey particularly what I want to get across. In the meantime the anxiety is making me go nuts, so I have ripped my skin open again with a razor to bring me back to reality. Everything rides on how it goes tomorrow. If things don’t go my way I have stockpiled a massive amount of medications and I plan on attempting to take my life, if I survive MAYBE PEOPLE WILL FUCKING LISTEN TO ME instead of just turning […]
I would watch you rrot.
I cut myself pretty badly last weekend, did a bit of stabbing on my forearm and hit an artery. I panicked and called the suicide hotline who instructed me to call 911 because my arm was wrapped in a towel and bleeding a lot (maybe half a litre by the time I got help) . So I did. I had been drinking and things weren’t particularly clear and I picked up my knife and went to the park nearby where I told them I would be. I took the knife with me because I wanted to cut myself again at the hospital or I was […]
I’m just a fuck up.
I’m no one.
I’m nothing.
I am the epitome of everything you should never wanna be.
I lack the coping skills for every day life.
And I struggle just to speak to the people who know me best.
I smile on the surface just to hide whats really on my chest.
I take it all.
I never give.
You wanna be me?
Its easy , you just have to be a piece of shit.
I believe something is so
Fundamentally wrong with
What we value as important today
And i hope that you who are here tonight
Will reconsider your choices
Before our losses are just too great
Miss you. Not too deep tonight… don’t want to go any further but I have to. I have to do this…
I was so starry eyed
I had my hopes up high
They always said “you’ll shine”
I guess one day I’ll try
My mother said that men don’t cry, she had my hopes (up) so high
Lyrics:
I can’t go on this way.
Let my chains and hate, wash away in the rain.
Heal myself, I have to change.
I can’t go on this way.
Negativity pouring from me, I just wanna be healthy.
Positivity escapes me.
Addiction, depression and obsession; a life not worth living at all.
It’s time to give all my fight, gotta find a way to cope with this life.
Gotta learn to say goodbye, to the past and those who didn’t survive.
Take this chance, to burn bright.
Not another shadow lost in the night, gotta make a few things right,
Before I lay my head the final […]
Animation ain’t the greatest but still awesome. A song and video about not giving a fuck. Cheers.
Woman in the middle of the diner, Mother in the middle of the aisle
A new bloom of flowers start to grow for you & me, on a plain outside
Admitted on the 14th ’cause of a public display of emotion
A notion of heartache & agony pushing, a bouquet of brusque when they say you need not worry so much.
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