Author

Imsodone

I need advice!

by Imsodone 11/11/2013

written by Imsodone

Okay, I want the guys on this site to give me some advice.

So, I haven’t talked to this guy in almost a year, I don’t know why we stopped talking, we just did. We were great friends, we both liked each other but we just didn’t do anything about it, he was amazing and sweet and funny and he literally cared about me, at least I think he did. I cared about him too, I still do. Things have happened in my life recently that made me think about him, and made me miss him. I want to talk to him again. I want to […]

11/11/2013 37 comments

No

by Imsodone 10/24/2013

written by Imsodone

So guess what, I lost ten pounds. I’m no longer at my goal weight and that makes me sad, it sounds like a really childish thing to be sad about but look

for the longest time throughout high school I was 90 pounds (not by choice, just how my body is) Â and people, a lot of people thought I was anorexic and that I was way too skinny and they’d ask my friends about me, and that made me mad that people were so concerned about how much I weighed. So Â I started birth control, not because I was sexually active cus lets be honest I […]

10/24/2013 7 comments

A little harsh

by Imsodone 10/22/2013

written by Imsodone

Okay so my last post was a little harsh not going to deny that, I just I don’t have anyone to tell this to, literally. Nobody even bothers to listen to me, not even my family, especially not my “friends”

I’m always the go to girl, everyone comes to me when they have a problem and I don’t turn them away because I try to be nice and I also don’t want anyone else to feel the way I do. and that makes sense to me. I just didn’t think it was possible to feel this alone even when there are so many people around me.

I […]

10/22/2013 2 comments

by Imsodone 10/22/2013

written by Imsodone

I’m so tired of being stuck in this same old fucking rut, I’ve been here my whole entire life and I’m sick of it, I can no longer see a bright light in the dark tunnel that I call my life, my friends aren’t even my friends anymore, I’m so consumed by work that people just stopped trying to be there for me. Honestly if it wasn’t for work I would’ve been gone already, I used to like work I did, I used to call them my second family but I’m not sure about that anymore. Things have a way of changing and I think […]

10/22/2013 0 comment

I’m graduating in two days…

by Imsodone 6/13/2013

written by Imsodone

So, in two days, I will be graduating highschool, on the surface I’m happy and just as excited as my friends, and I am, don’t get me wrong, this is a huge step in my life but.. at the same time. I don’t know, there’s this little part of me that wants me to feel miserable.

I can’t wait to leave highschool and all the dicks in my school, I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. but I’m going to miss my friends, I don’t know when I’m going to see them again, cause some of them are moving away, like far away, […]

6/13/2013 4 comments

One Big Act

by Imsodone 5/10/2013

written by Imsodone

I act like everything is fine. I laugh at people’s jokes, I do silly things with my friends and act like I have a carefree life. It’s funny though, When I come back home, I just turn off that mental switch. Then suddenly I break down. I feel alone, empty, tired. I can’t exactly describe how I feel into words. It’s like I have two different me’s.

The one for the public, and one for myself. Only if they knew. Only if.

5/10/2013 9 comments

I haven’t been on here in awhile…

by Imsodone 3/4/2013

written by Imsodone

So, I haven’t been on here for a few months actually, I thought my life turned around, at first my life seemed worthwhile, but…. I’m back. and honestly, this time I have no idea why. I shouldn’t be as sad as I am right now, I’m graduating highschool in a few months, I have to get a grad dress and a date. I have to decide what I want to be career-wise, but before that, college/university.. I should be ecstatic about all this happening right now.

but I’m not. Don’t ask me why, cause I don’t have an answer for you. Once again, I just feel […]

3/4/2013 0 comment

Breathe Me- Sia

by Imsodone 12/3/2012

written by Imsodone

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there’s no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me

12/3/2012 3 comments

I Can’t

by Imsodone 11/20/2012

written by Imsodone

Okay, nothing is working. I’m always sad even when I’m happy, I feel empty. I stopped cutting. although it sounded like a good idea, but I can’t not cut. cutting was my way to release the fucking pain I feel inside. and honestly, I want to start smoking again. I want to smoke and just forget about everything. I’m such a failure. my friends don’t want me to smoke cigarettes anymore, but they have no problem trying to pressure me to smoke cigars (no not those big fat ones that mob bosses smoke all the time) where is your logic??

So, my question to you, where […]

11/20/2012 1 comment

I’ve Stopped

by Imsodone 11/19/2012

written by Imsodone

I’ve stopped, cutting that is. I haven’t done it in a while. since the last time I posted on here. it’s kind of odd seeing my wrist with nothing but scars, no new cuts. I stopped because my friends would get mad at me, it even got to the point where teacher’s would get involved. I’ll admit that I was mad at everyone for a while, telling teacher’s my secret. Now everyone looks at me different.

Even the guy that I like doesn’t talk to me, he looks at me sometimes, with a look of sadness, but other than that, he doesn’t give me the time […]

11/19/2012 5 comments

Just a quick question

by Imsodone 11/2/2012

written by Imsodone

Okay, so I’m sure alot of you are in the same boat as I am.

I’m pretty sure I have depression and anxiety, I don’t know what the symptons are because I’m just assuming that they’ve been with me for so long that I sorta got used to feeling like this. I feel like I’m about to cry even when I have no tears to shed. I feel like I’m never good enough for anyone and it’s killing me. and alot more but I’m not gonna divulge into them because I fear of breaking down and crying in class. yes. I’m on here in class.. pretty […]

11/2/2012 9 comments

I’m writing about her again..

by Imsodone 11/1/2012

written by Imsodone

Again, this is going to be about Shekiera. I don’t know why, but I feel like I have to record things about her before I forget. not that I would. but I want to remember these memories and dreams before I can’t recall them anymore.

Dream #1:

I can’t really remember this dream, because it was a year ago that I had it. but, I’m going to try and tell you here today. Okay. so, in real life I got my Driver’s license Last year in June, a month after she passed. I didn’t have the dream until four months after that. In that dream I […]

11/1/2012 0 comment

To My Guardian Angel

by Imsodone 10/31/2012

written by Imsodone

Dear Shekiera,

I words can’t possibly express how much I miss you, everyday I think about you, sometimes with a smile on my face and other times with tears. I remember the first time I met you, you were grade one and I was in grade two. we were both shy, socially awkward and got along great because we didn’t have to say alot to have a good time. back in grade two I can’t remember exactlyÂ what we would talk about, but I remember that we used to walk around and talk about “what if’s” and “when I’m older I’m going to’s”. You see, Shekiera, […]

10/31/2012 6 comments

I’m my own worst enemy

by Imsodone 10/28/2012

written by Imsodone

Honestly, if I had to say who I hated the most, I’d say myself. I’m such a mess. and I don’t think I’m worth the life that I’ve been given. If I had to say who bullied me, again, same as above. I just feel so worthless and that I don’t deserve anything. I hate everything about me. my face, my body, my smile, I just nit-pick at myself until I feel like crying and it’s exhausting. but I can’t stop. it’s a vicious little cycle that my mind has grown attached too.

Like, for example, I don’t think I’m pretty, at all. far from it, […]

10/28/2012 5 comments

by Imsodone 10/27/2012

written by Imsodone

I’m home alone, the only thing I can hear is the clocks ticking and my heart beating. that’s not entirely true, I hear my thoughts. my awful thoughts that tell me that I’ve had enough. the thing is I’m scared to give in. I’m scared to give up.

I was watching a movie with my family the other night, and I remember what one of the characters said to another, “Fear is what keeps us alive” right about now, I’m assuming that’s true. that’s the only thing keeping me alive. I want to die, but I’m afraid of what will happen to everyone else. leaving behind […]

10/27/2012 0 comment

Was this selfish of me?

by Imsodone 10/26/2012

written by Imsodone

Okay, so I find myself coming on to this site for emotional support, even though I only made an account yesterday. So anyways, let me tell all of you on here now, that I’ve recently started cutting. I’ve been cutting for about a month now, and I can’t say that I’m proud of it, cause I shouldn’t be, that’s why I hide it behind my clothes and bracelets, etc. but one day, I decided to tell my friend L. who also cuts, so I thought she would empathize with me. She did, she really did. she asked me why, and at the time I said […]