“3-12-2019”
A man jump from 4th floor and die
Its a suicide
“1-11-2019”
The day when I decided to kill myself
There is a mall near my house, it only takes 15 mins to walk
I keep walking around the mall to search the best place to jump
And I found it..
And thats the place a man choose to die
Its a good place he proves it
He die
I thought heartache is just a song
I thought heartache is just an illusion
But now I understand
It exist..
There is this pain and tingling sensation
In the center of your chest
It feels funny and hurt
At the same time
I know the problem is myself
Its in me inside me
I want to be loved so bad
Thats why Im giving my love purely
But im ended wounded
I really need someone right now
I really want to end my life
I really need someone
Help me
Today you save me again
Why you always come and save me when im at my limit
Why you always give me hope and light
Why I cant let you go
Even tho I always try to forget you
Even tho I try to suppress this feeling
At the end I always end up reaching you
Sometimes you look like you dont care about me
Sometimes you chat and ask about me
You keep gping back and forth
Why we have different principal and life
But why we like each other
Why I just lke you more and more
Why you like me
And we know if we are […]
I appreciate those who choose the way
They are so brave
I wish i have that much of brave
But avtially im jist getiing smaller amd shrink
I poor myself because of the path i choose
Mau parents always tell what to do
But if i think again…
Im part of that fault
Cause I dont try my best to persuade them
Cause I dont try my best to tell them what i love to do
Im ended up here
Tainted and hurt
Everything I love already gone with the thin air
I hate myself
I hate how i look amd smile
And trying to […]
Smile that looks innocent and happy
Its so pretty..
So pretty..
So I save it
Wondering when will I smile like that
Its so happy..
So happy..
So I save it
I just realize this when I see my gallery full of people smiling,m how I admire that smile and how I love the idol
After I graduate
I will kill myself
Before that
Im going to do everything I want and live to the fullest
Im going to make bucket list to do
I wish something good happen so I will change my mind
But I dont think so..
I always feel something weird and sick inside me
And all of that from what I thought
I think my sad mind control my body
Im sorry mom dad everyone who care about me
But I dont have dream or something I want to achieve anymore..
Im sorry
At least I finish what you want too..
https://kissasian.sh/Drama/12-Suicidal-Children
I want to share this with you guys
The story heal me for today
Such a good thriler mystery movie
JUST WATCH IT !
Im not okay these days.. its been 3 days..
Too much thing triggering me..
These things.. the reason why Im being like this
Im still walking my days and work as always
But inside I feel not okay.. really not okay
I pretend to be okay and I cant say anything to anyone
Its just I become lazy again and getting pissed off easily
But even if Im geting pissed off.. I dont show it because im too lazy to quarrel about that
Ughh
Ughhhhhh
Ughhhhhhhhh
I need to get back…
I stop
Cause i want to try to love my self more
Cause i want to try to appreciate my self more
Cause i want to try to stand where my self want to be
Sorry
The meaning of you still here and breathing
Means you are stronger than you think
With all your problems
With all your mental disorder
With all the scar on your wrist or body
But you still breathing
Means you are stronger than you think
We are not weak
Maybe we cry more than people out there
We are not weak
Maybe we try to kill ourself hundred times more than people out there
We are not weak
And when all of this pass
You will believe that you never lose
Its just our way
Our different way
To win
I still remember the reason why you become couple with your girlfriend
Its because she is the one who told you first that she likes you
Because she is brave enough
And she is the one who help you forget about me
But when you walk your days with her you realize that you cant forget me
You guess that she dump you because you never there for her
You never search her or ask her day
She always reach you first
Yes she didnt say the reason why she dump you
Are you going to repeat your fault again
I think you will
And […]
I already give you chance
2 times
But you ignore me
2 times
Dont blame me if you lose me
Dont regret your choice
Im not going to back to you
Im going to go far away
Far faar away
Dont hold me back
Dont tell me you love me
Cause love is not like this
Or at least this is not the love I want
I think
Maybe you are the one
But even if its true
This is not the future i want
You only give more pain and loneliness to my heart
I dont want to suffer more because of you
Its enough for me
I try to let myself go
I try to let him go
No i mean
I try to let myself go
I try to appreciate myself more
I try to love myself more
Cause i deserve it
And you dont deserve me
I give you another chance
I give you my attention
I give you my heart
But you dont take the chance
But you dont giving back attention
And you cant give gour heart
I deserve better man
I deserve another him
He who always there for me
He who make me his priority
He who appreciate the time weve spent together
He who laugh when […]
Im afraid of living
Cause my way already determined
And its not the way i want
Im afraid of living
Cause i hate being in pain and hurt
And keep crying even tho the reason to cry is gone
Im afraid of living
Im a coward
I know
I have dream
But the dream i love is nothing to them
My dream is a trash for them
I dont want to go on
Im afraid what should i do in my next step
Just to make then happy and proud
But i just want to kill myself
Dont you know?
Since that day.. since you come…
I try to see the bright side of this world again
I can see the bright side of this world again
I can smile a little bit right from my heart
I can tell that my life is not the end of this world
I can give love to those around me
I can express myself a little bit more
I joke and laugh a little bit more
I see hope in front of me
But you are gone now
When I hear this song “Family of the year – HERO”
It reminds me of you
Here […]
What should I do?
I miss you too much
I want to see you right now
Im waiting for you to come today
Again..
I want to hold your hand
I want to see your face
I want to hear your voice
I want to see your smile
I want to hear your laugh for me
I shouldnt be like this
What should I do
There is this pain in my heart
I keep thinking about you all day
You said you like me who doesnt care about you
You said you like me who always gone and didnt say anything
I said I like you who […]
I cant sleep
My head hurts
Today
Again…
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